Black Rain
by Lelila Solo
Summary: Callie is drafted and goes off to war, leaving Arizona and a young Sofia at home to worry about her.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Here is my next little Calzona fic! Not the big one I promised for the fall, but a little something to tide you over. Also, I'm rewriting Luxury, so the updates may not come as quickly for this one.

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><p><em>So, I guess that I started this so you would know how my life goes on a daily basis while you're gone. So, for you, and for me, because I need something to keep me going. But I'll probably never let you read it because when I look back, I'll realize that at times, I was being ridiculous. And now I'm rambling. Right now, this is all surreal. It's unbelievable. I can't believe it. Every time I swallow it, the lump in my throat rises again. I never wanted to have to do this ever again. Not after Tim. Just the thought of...no. No.<em>

_I guess I should explain, even though we both know what's going on. They brought back the draft. Them being those government assholes who sit on their behinds while good men and women are risking their lives on the front lines. I'd like to send a few of them overseas. And since gays can openly serve in the military now, that couldn't save us. And you were in the Peace Corps, which I don't think has anything to do with it, but you do. And they picked you. To be a trauma surgeon, they picked my Callie. My Calliope. So now I have to refer to you as Lieutenant Torres or whatever. You're Doctor Torres. Not Lieutenant Major Sergeant whatever. And I've been sitting at home, holding onto Sofia for dear life, praying that I won't have to unload you from an airplane in a coffin. Because I can't do that again. Not again, Callie, do you understand? It will destroy me. It's her birthday, in two weeks, it's her birthday. She'll be five. And you aren't here. She doesn't understand, Callie. She doesn't understand where you are and I can't explain it to her because I don't understand why you're gone either. You're going to miss everything and Sofia is going to grow up so much while you're gone. But I'll videotape everything. I promise. I won't let you miss our girl growing up because of some stupid government ploy._

_I don't want you to feel guilty. It's not like you enlisted. And even if you had I would support you one hundred percent. But my god Callie, I don't know what to do. And I know you didn't want this. I remember the look on your face when you read that letter. I remember how we cried that night. And I remember you trying to lighten the mood by telling me that maybe I should have stayed in Africa because we'd be closer. I remember. I'll never forget. But it's nothing like how I'm crying now. You just called me from your base in Texas to tell me that you would be shipped out tomorrow. Tomorrow you're going to be shipped out to the middle of the desert and I won't see you again for a year. Tomorrow I have to tell Sofia that you're not coming home and she won't understand. You were trying so hard to be strong for me tonight, because you know how this is killing me. But I could hear your throat choking up on you as you tried to hold back tears._

_Please Callie, come home. Come home safe and whole. And bring Owen and Teddy with you. The hospital isn't the same without you here. All the banners just make us miss you more. Tomorrow will be a sad day. Everyone misses you. Your place isn't there, Calliope, it's here. In scrubs, not fatigues. Do me a favor; don't fall in love with the military. Don't stay longer than you have to. Come home to us. Come home to me. Alive. And safe. Please._

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><p>Arizona closed the notebook and stared out the window. Rain splattered against the glass, impairing her vision of the night sky. She had picked this notebook on purpose. It was old and worn and easily mistaken for an old school notebook. She didn't want anyone else reading her private thoughts for Callie. And it was small, so she would be able to easily hide it from Sofia's curious hands. Sofia, who looked for her mama everywhere, but Callie was in Texas. Callie had been gone for five months already, going through her basic and specialized training. She'd been able to come once, for a week, in between her training and Arizona had been clinging to those moments ever since. She knew that Callie had called when she did on purpose. Callie knew when Sofia would be in bed. She knew that Arizona would have already gotten herself ready for bed. Arizona had known the moment she answered what Callie was going to say. It was too similar to when Timothy had called her the night before he'd been deployed. The tears hadn't waited this time. They'd begun rolling down her cheeks the minute Callie said, "Arizona." Silently, they had filled her eyes and flooded her cheeks as Callie gave her the details of her deployment. She had broken down after hanging up, something that she wouldn't have been able to do if Sofia had been awake. It had given her time to herself, and for that she would be forever grateful to Callie. They had been able to say goodbye in their way, not a quick "goodbye and I love you" in front of the kid.<p>

Twisting to her right, Arizona turned off the bed side lamp and let black envelope her. The bed felt huge without Callie. The room felt huge without Callie. The apartment felt huge without Callie. Huge and threateningly empty, much like the world these days. Everything felt empty without Callie. She'd learned that years ago when she'd gone to Africa without her. Nothing was right if Callie wasn't there. The air tasted stale and she could never quite catch her breath. Lightening lit up the sky and the room, rolling thunder filled the air afterwards.

She mentally counted down, _four, three, two, one._

"Mommy!" the shrill call came, accompanied by the pounding of little feet. "Mommy!"

Sofia hated thunderstorms. The only way to calm her down was when Callie sang to her. But Callie wasn't here to sing anymore. Arizona tried to dry her face and sat up, throwing the covers back. Then her door was being flung open and a little girl with raven hair was clambering up into bed with her. "It's okay, honey."

"Mommy, I'm scared," Sofia whispered. Arizona pulled her little girl close. Sofia looked so much like Callie that sometimes Arizona couldn't look at her for too long. She had Callie's sing song voice too. She snuggled close to Arizona under the comforter, her little hand taking her mother's.

A sad smiled tugged at the corner of Arizona's mouth. Tonight, she couldn't make her go back to her own bed. Tonight, she needed Sofia as much as Sofia needed her, in the absence of her mother. "Wanna sleep with me?"

The little girl nodded. Another peel of thunder roared into the night and Sofia clamped her hands over her ears and buried her face into Arizona. Mom had a hard time hiding her smile. Sofia stayed like that, shivering dramatically, until long after the thunder had subsided. "Where's Mama?"

"In Texas," Arizona said after a moment. "Like she was when you went to sleep a few hours ago."

"I wish she was home. I want her to sing to me."

It broke Arizona's heart. "She will be. Soon."

"How soon?"

"I don't know, darling," Arizona gathered Sofia in her arms and rocked her gently.

"What's wrong, Mommy?" Sofia asked, her hand on Arizona's wet cheek.

It sometimes startled her how intuitive her daughter could be. It was just one more thing that she inherited from Callie. "I just want Mama home soon, too."

Sofia was satisfied with that response and reached up to give Arizona a kiss goodnight. "I love you, Mommy."

"I love you, too."

After a few moments of silence, Arizona thought Sofia had drifted to sleep. Her tears began to fall again as she let herself stare out into the rainy night. It was a dreary rain. The kind of rain that sapped you of your strength, your energy, and your will to live. It was an ironic rain. She never thought that she would lose Callie again, not after everything that they had been through. Callie was the best thing that she had ever had. Callie had brought everything good into her life. And now, she was here, trying to hold all the good together while Callie was far, far away. It was like a bad chick flick turned real life. Unconsciousness was just about to overcome her when she heard Sofia's small voice. "She's not going to be here for my birthday, is she?"

Rolling over so that she was eye to eye with her little girl, Arizona sighed. "No, honey. She won't be here."

"You're sure?" Sofia asked. Arizona could see her sad little tears trickling down her cheeks in the lightning flashes, and it made her own tears fall faster.

"Yeah," she managed. Swallowing her own sadness, she said, "I need to tell you something, okay?"

"Okay," Sofia looked at her with trusting eyes.

"Remember how we said Mama was at camp, learning how to be a soldier?"

"Yeah."

"Well, now she's learned. And they need her to go fight the bad guys."

"Oh." It was the sound of disappointment in its purest form.

"Mama called me tonight. She didn't want you to have nightmares so she called after you were in bed," Arizona paused. This was harder to get out than she thought it would be. "Mama is going on her mission tomorrow."

"To the desert?"

Arizona smiled. "To the desert."

"Well, how long is she gonna be? I'm not gonna be little forever." The pout that covered her daughter's face was purely Arizona and it made her laugh. She was teaching her good techniques for use latter in life.

A sad laugh escaped Arizona's lips. "She'll be back next summer. You'll still be little."

"How old will I be?"

"Six."

"She's gonna miss _two _of my birthdays?" Sofia asked, stunned. "A whole _year_?"

As the little girl started to cry, Arizona wrapped her arms tightly around her and cried too. "If you're really good, she might be able to come home for a little while. For a break. But she loves you, Sofia. And she misses you more than anything."

"She'll come home, Mommy. She told me she would."

Arizona kissed her crown. "I know, baby. I know." She wished that she was as sure as her daughter of that. Because she wasn't sure at all that Callie would come home to them.

"Are you going to have nightmares, Mommy?" Sofia asked.

Thinking, Arizona tried to answer truthfully, but not completely. "Not with you here with me. You're my strong little angel. I couldn't have nightmares with you here with me." The truth was, Arizona had been having nightmares ever since they'd found out that Callie had been drafted. She had the same one every night. A coffin being unloaded from a plane. The gunshots. The never ending grief. The darkness. The rain. The depression. She had the same nightmare every night.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you all for the great feedback on the first chapter. I'm so glad that you guy like it.

123321 - Thank you for the compliment. Have you read Luxury? That one seems to have gone over well also.  
>Nyla - definitely won't be doing that ;)<br>logan - Luxury does need a rewrite if I'm going to get it published! I'm glad to see you again in my inbox :)

Enjoy :) And don't cry too much.

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><p><em>It's Sofia's birthday today. But it's still early so I have some time to myself before she wakes up. You've been gone for two weeks now and we haven't heard from you. Things must be crazy over there, or else they changed the rules since I was knee-deep in all that military stuff. At least that's what I'm hoping it is. I can't really stand the thought of it being anything else. Mark has been wonderful. He's let Sofia stay over here at night. I didn't even have to ask him, but I think your daughter is telling him secrets about me. The coffins are back, except these coffins aren't tiny. They're big coffins, polished and black, draped in the American flag and being unloaded from a jet plane. It's not every night, but it's been three times since you left.<em>

_I'm off track. Mark has been wonderful. I don't know if I could do this without him, but I suppose I'll have to soon. Sofia has done wonderful things for him, Callie. You would be proud of him. He's going to New York for a few weeks, to visit his parents. Something about a new beginning. He wants them to one day know his daughter. I think it's super, but Sofia will miss him. At least she knows that Daddy is coming back. She believes that you are, but sometimes, especially at night, I know she wonders. I wonder. Mark got engaged, I haven't been able to tell you yet. He proposed to Lexie a few days ago. She said yes immediately. She's been amazing with Sofia. _

_Everyone loves Sof at the hospital, they take such good care of her for me when Mark and I are both working. She and Tucker are the best of friends at day care. She's going to miss him when they go off to school in the fall. Oh Callie, you wouldn't believe how big he is now. He watches over Sofia like a guard dog, but she won't have any of it. Kind of like her Mama. But they can relate to each other I suppose; one mom who works all the time, part time Daddy. Bailey has Eli, and I've got Mark, I guess. It's not the same, but it's close. _

_I don't want to cut this short, but Sofia will be awake soon. She actually didn't want a party. She just didn't want to have to go to the hospital today; she spends so much time there. So I convinced Weber to let me off. We're going to the park, and we're going to ride around on the ferry, and I'm going to attempt to make tacos for dinner for me and her, and Daddy and Lex, and Bailey and Tucker. Eli couldn't get out of work tonight. She wants Mexican all the time now, Calliope. Anything to be close to you, she wants. That old blanket that you've had since you were a kid? She refuses to let me take it and put it away. She says she's going to sleep with it until you come home. She just wants her Mama back, Callie, and I don't know what to do anymore. It's been two weeks and I'm out of things to say. I'm out of reasons. Every day she asks me when you're coming home and why you had to leave. How do I answer a four, now five, year old when I can't even answer myself? Mark has run out of answers too._

_I hear little feet. Me time is over. I'll write you again soon, Calliope._

_I love you._

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><p>Not two seconds after she sat that notebook on the bed side table, her bedroom door was flung open and a sleepy eyed Sofia was climbing into her bed. Callie's blanket was tucked up tightly underneath her arm and her thumb was in her mouth. Arizona looked down at her. "Did we forget something, birthday girl?"<p>

Sofia looked up with half closed eyes. "Good morning."

"Are we supposed to knock before we throw open doors?"

A yawn stifled Sofia's response.

Arizona laughed. Callie would have her head for the lack of discipline going on lately, but she couldn't help it. "I guess since it's your birthday, I can forgive you this once."

Sofia snuggled up to her mother. "Sleepy."

"Then what'd you get out of bed for?" Arizona asked.

"I thought Mama would be here. It's my birthday."

It made Arizona's heart break into a hundred little pieces. All Sofia wanted was her Mama. "Honey, I told you, Mama–" but she was cut off by the phone ringing. Confused by who could be calling this early, she picked up the receiver and checked the caller id. She didn't recognize the number, but she had a feeling. Looking at Sofia, she handed her the phone. "Answer it and say 'Hello, Torres-Robbins residence.'"

Sofia eyes the phone warily before pulling her thumb out of her mouth and doing just as her mother told her to do. Arizona fought a giggle as her baby tones came out of her sleepy mouth. But she saw it before she heard it. Sleepy eyes brightened and a super magic smile pulled at the corners of Sofia's mouth. "Mama!" the little girl squealed. "¿Comó estas?"

Arizona listened quietly to the one sided conversation as Sofia impressed her Mama with her Spanish and giggled.

"I'm five today!"

"I miss you, Mama."

"You safe? What do you do?" Sofia listened intently as Callie responded and Arizona made a mental note to ask her what Callie was saying.

"Can you come home soon?" Arizona watched Sofia's face fall. "Oh. Mmhmm."

"You promised you'd come home safe."

Sofia smiled again. "Okay. I love you." She held the phone out to Arizona. "She wants you."

Skipping a grammar lesson, Arizona took the phone. "Calliope?"

"Arizona, hey baby," Callie's birdsong voice greeted her ears. "How are you?'

"I'm great," Arizona lied. She knew better. "How are you, sweetheart?"

"Hanging in there," Callie sounded tired. "I called in a favor to be able to call her today. But I couldn't miss her birthday completely. It's not so bad out here. But it's not home. I miss you so much."

Arizona knew that Callie was lying too. It was bad there. She could hear it in her voice. "It means the world to her, Callie. You should see the smile on her face right now." Arizona was lying again. It did mean the world to Sofia, but the little girl had tears streaming down her face. Arizona sniffed back her own tears. "But I miss you more."

Callie wasn't fooled. "It won't be forever, baby. I'll be home soon. And then it'll be like you blinked."

"I hardly think it'll feel like that, Calliope. Just come home safe? Please. Please just come home safe," Arizona begged.

"I will, Arizona."

She couldn't stop the tears. She had to change the topic. "Mark got engaged."

"He did?"

"Yeah, Lexie said yes before he finished the question. It was cute."

"I'm proud of him, he finally grew a pair," Callie chuckled. "Tell him that I said hi and that I miss him. And I can't wait to tell him congratulations in person."

"I will."

"I have to go. I love you so much. And tell my little girl how much I love her."

"I will. Tell Teddy and Owen hello and that we miss them. I love you, Callie. We'll be fine. You worry about coming home as fast as possible."

"Goodbye baby."

"Bye, Callie. Be safe." She hung up the phone and set it down on the bed. She picked up Sofia's chin and wiped away the little girl's tears. She smiled through her own and pulled Sofia into her lap. "Good birthday present?"

Sofia nodded sadly. "She called me."

"She did," Arizona smiled. "She called just to wish you a happy birthday. She said she loves you more than anything." After some sniffles and tears, Arizona managed to get Sofia talking about what Callie told her and let her mind wander as the toddler babbled. She had lied to Callie about how well she was doing. She was miserable, but Callie didn't need to worry about her. Callie didn't need to worry about her being alone. Callie didn't need to worry about Sofia and her tears. Callie needed to know that she was loved and missed. Callie needed to worry about getting home safely. In some ways, it had been better when they hadn't heard from her because the pain hadn't been quite so fresh.

A knock on the door brought her out of her reverie. A deep bass voice made it past the closed front door. "Hey! I have breakfast for a birthday girl!"

"Daddy!" Momentarily forgetting that her Mama was gone, Sofia hopped out of the bed and ran to the front door to let her father in, Callie's blanket in tow. Mark strode over to the table, dressed in his pajama bottoms and a white cotton shirt, carrying the largest stack of chocolate chip pancakes that Arizona had ever seen in her life. He set the plate down on the table and then added a full bottle of syrup. Shrugging into her robe, Arizona reached the table just as Mark leaned down and pulled Sofia into a fierce hug.

"First present of the day," he smiled.

Sofia shook her head. "Nuh uh."

"Aww," he looked up in mock anger at Arizona. "Mommy beat me to it. What'd you get?"

"Not Mommy," Arizona said.

Mark looked down at Sofia. "Mama called," she whispered. Mark held her close as new tears sprang up from her eyes. He looked up again at Arizona for conformation.

She nodded, messy blonde curls shaking. "She said to tell you hi."

He nodded.

"You just missed her. She couldn't stay long," Arizona said. "She misses you."

He smiled. "We're fine. She just needs to worry about getting back here to our birthday girl. Right Sof?"

The little girl nodded.

Arizona admired the way he handled moments like that, because she could see in his eyes that he missed Callie too. And he was deathly worried for her. But he never let Sofia see. As they sat down for breakfast, Arizona caught Mark's attention. "You and Lexie are still coming over for dinner tonight, right?"

"Wouldn't miss it," Mark said. "What is Mommy burning tonight, Sof?"

"Tacos!" Sofia exclaimed. "Cuz Mama can't be here. And Mama loves tacos."

"Mama loves fajitas," Arizona corrected.

"But I'm not big enough for them yet. They're hot," Sofia told Mark as if he wasn't aware.

"Tacos it is then," Mark smiled.

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><p>Sofia was holding Arizona's hand as they walked through the park later that day. It was an overcast day and the threatening clouds looked as though they would spring a leak at any moment. But Sofia didn't mind and Arizona was just as happy as she was to walk around lazily. The atmosphere wasn't affecting her daughter in the slightest. After breakfast, she had perked up noticeably and the smile hadn't left her face. Something told Arizona that it was an act, but she wasn't willing to call her out on it just yet. It wasn't fair that she was having to grow up so fast and be so strong at just five.<p>

Feeling cold drops of water on her neck, she looked up at the clouds once more. A sweet cool rain was falling down from the dark sky. She turned her gaze down to Sofia to ask if she wanted to leave and saw the little girl holding her hands out, catching the rain in her palms. The flowers that she had collected were lying haphazardly on the ground. "What are you doing?"

"Catching Mama's tears," Sofia said, as if it was simply the most obvious thing in the world.

"What do you mean?"

"Mama couldn't cry on the phone. So she sent the rain I could know she was missing me. When mom's and dad's go away, the rain is their tears because they miss us."

Arizona beamed at her child logic, but she knew that those words stemmed from Callie. Sofia took Arizona's hand and pulled her fingers out of their fist, spreading her palm out.

"Mama misses you too, Mommy."

They stood together, catching the rain in the palms and letting Callie shower their faces with her tears.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: _Hello darlings! I'm so sorry that this chapter has taken so long. I've been incredibly busy with work, moving back in to school, and quite frankly I just couldn't get happy with this chapter. But it's up now, and I hope you like it. We are currently weathering Hurricane Irene, and the power is flickering, so I have lots of down time to brainstorm!_

Logan - _Hello sweetheart! Thanks for following up on me. And yes, I will eventually attempt to get Luxury publish published._

Jonna - _You were so right, I fixed it! Thank you so much for pointing that out!_

Nyla - _hopefully this doesn't make you too sad!_

Anon - _I did say that Callie will come home mostly safe and sound, so we'll have to see how things play out._

mmls - _thank you! That means a lot!_

Jess - _let the tears continue!_

_And with that, enjoy :)_

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><p><em>Summer is going…well, as well as it can go I expect. It's July 3<em>_rd__. Tomorrow is the 4__th__. Sofia is in her room "packing" to go to my parents tonight. Mark would have come with us I think, but he headed out to New York three days ago. My parents have really warmed up to him since you've been gone. I know they've been standoffish, but with the way that he's been with Sofia and with me since you've been gone, they've warmed up to him and accept him as part of the family. I know what I've said before Calliope, but he really has grown on me. I wouldn't be able to do this without him. He really is a great dad. Decisions aren't as hard as I thought they would be. We have discovered one dilemma though. Since Lexie and Mark are getting married, we have to figure out what Sof is going to call Lexie. She's been calling her Aunt Lexie, but we don't know if that should change. I guess we have time though. They've decided to not get married until you come home. So now you have to come home sooner rather than later, and on time. I know how the military works, Callie. Get your ass home on time._

_Sofia is excited for the fireworks. She understands that we are honoring soldiers and she's excited to tell everyone that her Mama is one. Colonel Grandpa and Grandma are excited to spend some time with her. I was thinking about trying to go see your parents in August, but I don't know if that's a good idea without you. I know your father would like it, but even though your mother has warmed up significantly, I don't know if it's a good idea. I guess I'll ask you next time I talk to you. Speaking of which, if that could be soon, I'd really appreciate it. I miss your voice. I miss everything about you, but since I'm clinging to what I can, I really miss your voice._

_It's hard, Callie. It's really hard. Being brave for Sofia when all I want to do is curl up into a ball of loneliness and sob is hard. I still ask myself every night why it was you. Why you were the one who had to be picked for this. Why this had to happen to my family again. I became a doctor so that I wouldn't have to do this anymore and yet here I am, writing in a journal instead of talking to you over dinner or morning coffee because I married a doctor and then she got drafted! What the hell is wrong with the universe? Sofia is getting used to you not being here. She doesn't ask so many questions. She is proud that her Mama is a soldier. Something I should be more of. And I am, I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud to call you my wife. I just really hate the military and what it does to families and I really miss you. But Sofia has never lived through that tragedy and I'm praying to every god in the galaxy that she doesn't have to. She's only five, Callie._

_Come home safe, my love. I'm waiting for you._

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><p>Sofia bounced on the balls of her feet while Arizona rang the doorbell of her parent's house. This was going to be good for them. Sofia could get away from all the worrying over Callie and Arizona could talk to her mother about being a military spouse. She needed the advice. Her parents lived in Northern California, and the drive wasn't too bad. They'd gotten up early and Sofia had slept most of the way. It had given Arizona time to think. Too much time.<p>

A shrill "Grandma!" snapped her back to reality.

"Sofia!" Barbara Robbins exclaimed happily. "How is my little pumpkin?"

"Fireworks!" Sofia hugged her. Arizona smiled down at the cute scene. She waited her turn to hug her mother hello. By the time they disengaged, Colonel Robbins had already gotten ahold of Sofia. "Colonel Grandpa," she asked, "are you going with us to see the fireworks?"

All of them laughed. One time, when Sofia was much younger, Daniel Robbins had informed her that he was supposed to be called "Colonel" and ever since, she had called him Colonel Grandpa. "Yes little one," he smiled at her before pulling his daughter into a hug. "Hey Arizona."

"Hi Daddy," she relaxed under his strong embrace.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, concern written all over his face.

"Sof, let's go get a snack," Barbara pulled the youngster into the kitchen to give father and daughter a chance to talk.

"I'm fine, Dad," Arizona sighed. "Just tired, as usual. I miss Callie."

"How is she?" he asked.

"I guess she's fine. She called two weeks ago for Sofia's birthday," Arizona said, leaning against the wall. "But other than that, we haven't really heard from her. Cristina got a call from Owen saying that they were moving around a lot, so I guess that explains it."

Dan nodded, "I'm sorry, sweetheart. It's one thing to be in the military because you want to be. It's another entirely to be drafted."

Arizona hugged him again.

"Where is the sperm donor? Out gallivanting with some woman? " he asked, his disapproval seeping into his tone.

"Daddy! Be nice to Mark," she said. "I thought you guys were okay with him."

"His behavior concerns me," Dan shrugged. "I don't want Sofia growing up thinking that kind of behavior is acceptable."

Arizona let out an exhaustive sigh, "Dad, he's fine. He's mature. And for your information, he's in New York, with his parents!"

Dan smiled at her and stroked her hair, "How are you really?"

After a breath, she said, "I'm really scared."

"Callie is a tough woman."

"Not just for Callie. But for Sofia," she said. "How is this going to affect her?"

"She seems fine to me, Zone. You worry too much. You turned out more than fine and you were a military brat," he emphasized the brat part. "Now buck up, soldier. You have a little girl who needs you and fireworks to watch."

Arizona smiled sadly as he walked away to join his granddaughter in the kitchen. "But I'm not the soldier, Dad."

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><p>Arizona and her mother spread out the blanket on the grass. The whole neighborhood always came to this park to see the fireworks that the town set off. Vendors set up all throughout the area and Dan had taken Sofia off to see what there was to be seen. The little five year old was curious about everything. She had run up to three people, one woman and two men, and told them that her mother was in the military too. They smiled at her and then she surprised Arizona. "Thank you."<p>

They had all looked at her, stunned, before crouching down and saying "thank you" right back to her. It had thrilled the little girl, and she had come skipping back to her family, super magic smile plastered onto her face.

But Arizona had been quiet all day, and she knew that her mother was worried about her. She just didn't know how to talk about what was bothering her. She didn't know how to break down. She didn't know how to accept everything that she was feeling long enough to talk to her mother about it. "I'm fine, Mom."

"I didn't say anything," Barbara replied, sitting down.

"You may as well have," Arizona sighed. But the silence that was existing between them ate at her and before long she found herself saying, "I miss her. I miss her so much. I'm so lonely."

Barbara nodded. "I remember what it was like when Dan went off and I had you and your brother. I didn't know what to do with myself. I would cry, but then you were there and I couldn't cry because you were crying and I had to be strong for you. But I learned and you learned that everything would be okay. I'm so sorry honey. At least you have Mark. He's really stepped up. I do like him. He's a good father to Sofia. I had thought that you would bring him with you."

"He's in New York, visiting his parents. And he is good to Sofia," Arizona smiled. "It's funny. I never thought that I would be able to handle Mark Sloan being a permanent fixture in my life. Now, I don't know what I would do without him. I don't know when that happened."

Her mother smiled. "Things have a way of working in mysterious ways."

"How did you do it, Mom?"

"A day at a time, Arizona. She'll come back. She'll be fine."

"People die every die. On the news, abroad, in training, at my job. How do I know that she's not going to be one of those people?"

"You don't," Barbara looked at her. "You just pray and believe that she won't be."

"Sofia asks so many questions."

"So did you."

She'd never thought about it that way. She had never considered looking at it from Sofia's point of view, because so many parents couldn't. But she could. She could remember what it was like to be five and have her Daddy leave for months at a time. She remembered what it was like to have him miss her birthday. Every year. That's why she didn't celebrate her birthday anymore. It wasn't a celebration for her, it never had been. She didn't want that for Sofia, and yet she had let her fifth birthday pass with no party. She remembered not being able to understand why her father had left for missions. She remembered not understanding why everyone was worried and why Mommy was so sad and scared.

"Mommy!" she heard the squeal and whipped her head around. Sofia was running towards her, a too big fatigue hat slipping forward over her eyes. She winced in anticipation as Sofia tripped over her own feet. Dan reached forward and caught the back of her shirt, stopping her from falling over. When she'd regained her balance and pushed the hat back up onto her head, she took off again for Arizona. "Now I look like Mama!"

Arizona laughed. "Yes you do." She reached into her purse and took out the video camera, remembering her promise to tape everything for Callie. "Want to make her a video?"

"Yes!" Sofia climbed into Arizona's lap. Barbara and Dan joined in the video and said hi to Callie as well, after Sofia was finished showing off her new hat. Arizona kept the camera on, filming their evening. The national anthem started playing and Dan showed Sofia how to hold her hat over her heart. Arizona smiled at her and met her mother's gaze. Tears shone in both of their eyes. When it was over, Dan helped Sofia adjust the hat back on her head. It slid down over her eyes again, but she didn't care. Before the fireworks began, a woman came by and saw Sofia.

"She looks just like my daughter did when my husband was at war," she smiled. "What's your name?"

Sofia looked to Arizona for confirmation, and at her nod said, "Sofia. And it's not my daddy at war. It's my Mama."

Arizona laughed at her daughter's fierce streak of pride.

"Where is your Daddy?"

"In New Ork," Sofia said. She had yet to say "York" when talking about the Big Apple.

Arizona swallowed, but let Sofia continue. She could see where this was headed and it was as good a time as any for Sofia to learn how to handle situations like this.

"Is this your Aunt?"

Sofia took Arizona's hand. "This is my Mommy."

The woman looked up and Arizona extended her free hand. "Sorry, Sofia doesn't always explain as well as she could. My wife is in Iraq."

The woman shook her hand. "I see. Who is your wife?"

"Major Calliope Torres, Army."

The woman crouched back down to talk to Sofia. "You tell your Mama when she comes home that I am grateful for her service to our country and that she has a beautiful daughter. I will be praying that your Mama comes home soon and safe."

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><p>When they got home, Dan carried a sleeping Sofia into the house. Barbara and Arizona stayed outside talking. Arizona was staring at the stars as her mother talked, wondering if Callie was thinking about her. After a little while, her mother went inside as well. Arizona talked to her brother for a little while, laying on the grass and staring up. "Keep an eye on her, Tim. If anything happens to her, I'm blaming you. Make sure that she stays safe. No bombs. Please, no bombs. No air raids blowing up her compound or her camp or wherever she is. No coffins. No more coffins."<p>

Her phone started ringing and she answered it. "Robbins."

"Sloan," Mark responded. "How were the fireworks?"

"Hey Mark," Arizona smiled. "They were good. Sofia loved them. How is your trip going?"

"Good," he said shortly. "My parents are okay."

"Good. Sofia got my father to buy her a fatigue hat. She looks just like Callie now. It's so cute, she refuses to take it off, even though it keeps slipping down over her eyes."

"I hope you got that on film for Callie when she comes home."

"We most certainly did."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: _I'm sorry guys for the delay. I'll try to make them faster. I hope you enjoy this one :)_

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><p><em>She was so cute today, Calliope. I think today is the first time I haven't had to force her out of bed or wrestle her clothes onto her in ages. She was already awake by the time I woke up. She was up and packed, waiting eagerly for me to come make her breakfast. She'd even gotten out the cereal and milk and spoon, but she knows better than to climb up and get a bowl. I don't think Sofia's ever been more excited. We got her climbing onto the bus on video for you. I couldn't let you miss her very first day of school. That would be too depressing.<em>

_She's really worried that you're going to call while she's at school and she won't get to talk to you, so I have to remind you to call at night when you can. I know you can't always help it though. The anxiety has started to fade from her eyes a little bit._

_But not mine. If anything, my anxiety is getting worse. I thought it would fade, but it's not. And now she's going to school and I'm going to be alone more often than not now. Used to be that I was only alone when Mark had her. Speaking of Mark, he and Lexie are doing very well. We've decided to just have Sof keeping calling her Aunt. She didn't see a need to change it, Lexie. It's been nice to have another girl to hang out with. They practically live here, so we've become a family._

_We've heard from you three times in as many weeks, which is heaven sent Callie. It makes me miss you all the more, but I don't think I could survive it without hearing from you. I know it won't last forever, but I'll take everything I can get while I can get it._

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><p>That was the last time she'd written in the notebook to Callie. It was nearing the end of September and Sofia had been in school for a little over a month. Arizona had never really thought about what it would be like to send her daughter off to school. She had never been more proud. The tears had welled up in her eyes as Sofia climbed the too big steps onto the bus and she'd waved as the bus pulled away. Arizona had seen a change in her daughter. The little girl had friends now, projects and artwork to make, things to keep her mind off the fact that her Mama was no longer at home. However, for Arizona the novelty had worn off. The once persistent presence of her daughter had given way to a ceaseless loneliness as her only distraction had disappeared.<p>

She didn't have anyone to talk to. Mark and Lexie didn't understand this. The lunch table had gotten quiet as Owen and Teddy were also trapped overseas. And she didn't know what to write to Callie anymore. Her cases hadn't been spectacular recently and there was really nothing to report about the hospital except the dismal lunch table, and Callie didn't need to hear about that .She and Mark would discuss Sofia occasionally and that was about it. With her being in school though, they just had to make sure that one of them was home to get her off the bus at 3:25. But aside from that, Arizona shied away from talking. She'd come to appreciate Mark in her life, but he was a constant reminder of Callie and right now she didn't have the strength to deal with him. So she'd started eating lunch alone, or she spent a brief ten minutes wolfing down a salad while he munched an apple before darting away, claiming patient needs.

A phone buzzing made her sit upright in her bunk in the oncall room. After some scrambling she answered, pushing escaped hair out of her eyes. "Hello?"

"Did I wake you?"

She would know that voice anywhere. "No," she smiled. "Just closed my eyes for a second between surgeries."

"Good."

Callie's voice sounded dry. Arizona frowned, "Are you okay?"

A tired sigh met her ears, "I'm okay. I'm exhausted. I'm sorry I haven't called recently. We've been really busy."

"It's okay, Calliope," she said. "We understand, I'm just glad to know that you're alright."

"Teddy is gone, Arizona," it rushed out of Callie's mouth.

The blonde was stunned. "What?"

"I'm so sorry, Zona. We were raided two weeks ago and she disappeared. No one has seen or heard from her since," Callie sounded grim.

She didn't realize that tears were leaking out of her eyes. "I don't–"

"Owen has been leading search parties, which has left us shorthanded, demoralized, and he is devastated."

All this time, she'd been worried about Callie while she had friends over there too. She had friends who were in danger. And now one was gone, missing. "Is she alive?"

"We don't know," Callie said.

"Why not? Where is she? What happened?" Arizona sent her questions through the phone in rapid succession. "What do you mean you got raided?"

"We were bombed and infiltrated," Callie snapped. "What else do you think I meant? You grew up in a military family, Arizona. You aren't a stranger to this."

"I'm a stranger to my wife being overseas!" Arizona snapped back. "What happened?"

"It was chaotic, people were everywhere. It was dark and we didn't know who was on our side and who was on the other side. People got hurt; Teddy isn't the only one missing."

"You mentioned search parties, have they gotten any leads?"

"We abandoned that post, that night. We left a lot behind. The search parties have brought back any supplies that weren't taken, but we think the missing are being held hostage."

Arizona leaned back against the wall. "Isn't there something you guys can do?"

"Don't you think we're trying? It's been two weeks, Arizona. We're trying. We're also trying to help all the other people who are injured and dying. It's not like we just lay around in the sun all day!"

Arizona could hear the heat in Callie's tone rising. This wasn't how she wanted their phone calls to go. "I'm sorry. I know that's not what you're doing," she said, softly. "I know you're trying. I'm just…I'm scared. You said people got hurt. Are you okay? Were you injured?"

"I'm fine, Ari. I just really want to come home," she could hear Callie's voice beginning to break. And there was something that Callie wasn't telling her.

"So just come home."

"Arizona," Callie's voice was suddenly strong and unwavering, tense. "You know better than anyone that I can't do that."

"Please baby," Arizona pleaded. The nightmares of black polished coffins swam before her eyes.

"Arizona." The warning was in her voice.

"Don't come back in a coffin, Callie."

"I won't."

"Don't. I can't do it again." After a few moments of silence, a screeching alarm sounded on the other end of the phone. "Callie?"

"I have to go. I'm sorry. Tell Sof and Mark that I love them. I love you."

"I love you, Calliope." The line went dead. "Be safe."

She let the phone fall from her hand to the sheets. The anxiety that had been weighing on her shoulders was now pressing down on her chest. Teddy was gone, she could be dead. As she really let it hit her, the tears flooded her cheeks. Teddy was gone, and it could have just as easily been Callie. Her fears were beginning to build, her nightmares were starting to come true.

Her best friend was gone.

* * *

><p>When she walked out of the oncall room, she saw the Chief standing by the nurses' station. Making a decision, she headed towards him. Her footsteps echoed in her ears. They were only missing three people, but the hallways felt empty, and knowing that Teddy was truly missing made her feel all the more empty inside. "Chief?"<p>

"Robbins?" Webber looked up from his chart. "Robbins, are you okay?

"Ha–have you heard about Teddy?" she couldn't keep her voice from quivering.

"Dr. Altman? No, what's happened?"

Before she could answer, Cristina came running up. "Sir!"

"Yang?"

"Dr. Altman is missing," she blurted out. "Owen just got off the phone."

He swung his head back to Arizona. She nodded solemnly, willing the tears back.

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><p>For the first time in a long time, Mark and Arizona talked at lunch. And after she had debriefed him; he watched her pick at her salad, pushing various pieces of almost green lettuce around. "Eat it."<p>

Stunned at his bluntness, she looked up. "What?"

"Eat the salad, Arizona."

He rarely called her Arizona. It was always Robbins. She stared at him blankly. She didn't have much to say.

"Your wife is at war. Your best friend is missing. Your daughter is in school. And you've hardly eaten anything in the past several months. You have to take care of Sofia. You have to give Callie something to fight for. How much weight have you lost?"

"I'm fine, Mark." She didn't want to worry about herself right now. She couldn't. All she could think about was Teddy and her heated chat with Callie. She hadn't meant to get like that. Callie needed to know that they loved her, and that they just wanted her to be safe. And with that alarm going off. Had Callie heard her say that she loved her? Was Callie angry?

"How much?" His directness brought her back to their conversation. He took her arm in his hand, grasping firmly enough to assure her of his seriousness.

Her eyes downcast, she mumbled an answer, "Thirty pounds."

"Thirty pounds!" Mark roared. "Arizona, you didn't have thirty pounds to lose."

"I don't have an appetite," she said softly.

"Eat the salad, Arizona," he growled. He watched her eat every bite with a satisfied grin.

"Are you happy now?" she grumbled as she sat aside the empty plastic bowl.

He beamed at her, "Come on, Blondie. You know you need to look good for her when she gets back." With a wink he got up and left, avoiding her swipe of irritation. Throwing another leering grin over his shoulder, he saw the genuine smile creeping over her lips.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: _Hey guys! So this update didn't take nearly as long and I'm working on the next one. I really liked this chapter and I hope you guys do too :)_

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><p><em>What aren't you telling me? Something is going on, I can hear it in your voice every time we talk, but you sidestep. It's a catch in your voice that wasn't there before, something that you don't want me to worry about. So tell me, what is it? You're driving me crazy.<em>

_I know that I haven't written a lot lately. I've been a woman of few words lately. I got out of the habit. I'm sorry. But you haven't really been talking to me lately either, and when I only talk to you once every two weeks…this is one of the reasons why I hate the military. It can very easily destroy relationships. But I think you're hiding from me, and I want to know why. So expect an interrogation next time I talk to you. Just giving you a heads up, got it? Sofia really lit up after you called last time (even though I didn't get to talk to you) but as it's nearing Thanksgiving she's gotten much more sullen. She's sad, Callie. You've been gone for months. She misses you. She's tired of me. She's tired of Mark. She's not tired of Lexie yet, but she misses you. I really want to yell at someone about this but I can't. You want to know what she does, Callie? She sits in her room and talks to herself. But it's not just talking to herself, she's speaking Spanish and she uses two different voices. She's pretending that she's talking to you, Callie. It's just like your accident, when she was born and she couldn't open her eyes. She was looking for you then and she's looking for you now._

_You mentioned, to me, being able to come home on leave for a few days soon. I hope, in a moment of selfishness, for her sake and mine, that you make that happen. I'm wishing on every star and clover that you can make that happen. I need to see you. I need to see you safe, even if it's just for three days. That's three days that you're here and not over there. Make it happen, Calliope._

_Teddy has been weighing on my mind. I used to be exhausted just worrying about you, now not much else occupies my mind between you and Teddy. I'm scared to death that she's dead, that you could go missing, that you could die. Where is she? I watch the news all the time; I have updates sent to my phone. I hound people for any scrap of information, for news. What happened to her? What's going to happen to you?_

_These "letters" are short and I hate that._

_Mark has been watching me, like a hawk. I feel like a lab rat under observation all the time. He and Lexie practically live here. They eat dinner here every night. Lexie says it's to inspire a sense of family in the face of all of this. But I know that Mark is concerned about me. I guess I did it to myself, with the whole not eating thing. But he's going to make me fat with all of these extra portions he keeps heaping on my plate and forcing me to eat. He says that I have to look good for you when you get back. Sometimes there is an unspoken "if you get back," but usually he stays positive. Especially around Sofia. When he's positive, he says it with that leering grin and wink he is famous for, or rather infamous for. His heart is in the right place, I'm learning that about Mark. He just doesn't always go about it in the right way. But between Lexie and Sofia, we are straightening him out._

_For Halloween, Mark and Lexie took Sof costume shopping. She came home a military brat, but Lexie told me later that if Mark had gone alone, Sofia would have come home dressed like a stripper. God Bless Lexie. But she had an amazing night. I saw her before they left, but I was pulling the night shift so it was Daddy, daughter, and Lexie time this Halloween. We got plenty of pictures for you though._

_Her teacher says that she talks about you all the time. We just had parent-teacher conferences. I think I loathe them more now as a parent than I did when I was a kid. She said that her Mama and everything about her Mama are all she talks about. And there are quite a few kids in the same predicament. It's good for her. But they had a spirit day, a hat day, and she has tried to wear that fatigue hat every day since. I've had to start checking her backpack and lunchbox every morning because she tries to sneak out with it. She's getting increasingly more creative but I don't have the heart to take it away from her completely. She misses you, and even though she understands she thinks you should be home by now. So make it happen, Calliope. Please. For her, if not for me, for her._

_This turned out longer than I thought. I love you sweetheart. Be safe. Come home._

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><p>"Moooooommyyyy!" the keening wail greeted her ears. It sounded like the world was ending and sent Arizona sprinting for the bathroom. She threw open the door to find her daughter sitting perfectly healthy and safe in the tub. She'd been gone for five minutes to change out a load of towels in the wash. "Mommy!"<p>

"What Sof?" she asked, slightly annoyed.

"My ducky," Sofia threw her arm out of the water to point across the room, showering Arizona with lukewarm droplets of soapy water. Arizona followed the line of sight to the door jamb where a bright yellow rubber ducky was lying pathetically on its side. Sighing, she reached down and picked it up. Crouching by the tub, she handed the ducky back.

"Why was your ducky across the room?" she asked sternly.

"A grenadade hit the water and blewed him up," Sofia grinned furiously and Arizona realized she was kneeling in a puddle of bath water.

"Sof! You know better than making this huge mess," she stood up quickly. But she was more concerned with the thoughts behind Sofia's actions than the fact that the knees of her jeans were soaked and she was going to have to change.

"I'm sorry, Mommy," Sofia looked instantly guilty, shooting Arizona that look that she got from her Mama. That "Callie" look that made her want to melt instantly. "I'll clean it up?"

"Yes you will. Now, Daddy and Aunt Lexie are coming over for Thanksgiving dinner to help Mommy get ready. Miss Bailey and Mr. Eli and Tucker are coming later."

"Tuck?" Sofia asked excitedly.

"Mmhmm," Arizona grinned. She picked up the towel from the sink and held it out. "Come here, Little Mermaid. Let's get dried off and all pretty." Sofia threw herself into the fluffy towel and stood still long enough for Arizona to wrap it around her little torso before taking off to her room. Arizona stood and watched her go, a frown slowly forming on her lips. She needed to talk to Mark about this.

* * *

><p>The seven of them were sitting around the table, Sofia and Tucker giggling conspiratorially to each other from the end of the table. Arizona and Bailey were discussing one of their cases and the men were teasing Lexie about her football bets. They were all startled by the doorbell ringing. Lexie used the little shock to excuse herself from the criticism and answered the door.<p>

"Oh my God," the breathed exclamation reached the ears of Arizona, who spun to look. One by one the other members of the room fell silent as they also turned to look at the door. As Lexie moved away from the door, Arizona stood suddenly and her chair slamming into the floor was deafening.

Standing in the doorway, in limp fatigues that hung loosely from her shoulders, may as well have been a ghost. "Teddy?"

A smile broke out on the cardio surgeon's face. "Arizona."

As Arizona tried to recover from the shock of the reappearance of her best friend, Sofia and Tucker realized something was going on. Dark eyes looked up and with a shriek of joy; Sofia ran across the room and lunged. "Aunt Teddy!"

"Sof!" Teddy laughed, hoisting the little girl into her arms. "How are you?"

"Good, is Mama with you?"

"No sweetie, Mama is still fighting the bad guys," Teddy said softly.

Sofia let a depressed beat pass. "You were dead!"

"I was?" Teddy looked at her in shock. Then she looked up at Arizona.

"I thought–" Arizona let her sentence trail off. She made her way over to her best friend. "You're alive." The hug that resulted caused Sofia to laugh and squirm in Teddy's arms. The rest of the room quickly surrounded the friends to greet Teddy and welcome her home.

"What happened to you?" Arizona questioned. "Where were you?"

"I'm sure Callie told you what happened. She's good, by the way, really good. I saw her, and Owen too, he's fine. When we were attacked, I was on guard. They came out of nowhere. Next thing I knew, I was waking up in a cell. I was interrogated," as Teddy continued her story, they made their way to the couch and Arizona took Sofia from her. She sent the little girl and Tucker off to play while the adults talked. "You don't really want to know all the details. But I was bargained for along with some other POWs and ended up back with Black Rain for medical treatment."

Arizona was pulled away from her mental assessment of Teddy's bruises and scars. "Black Rain?"

"That's the name of our unit," Teddy explained. "Well, that's what we call ourselves. The units have codes and that's one of ours, Callie didn't tell you? She came up with it."

Arizona turned to look towards Sofia's room. "Sounds like her."

"She says hi," Teddy said, looking at Mark.

"She's good, healthy, strong?" Mark asked. "Sounds like Callie."

"What happened to her?" Arizona turned back around, eyes boring into Teddy.

"Nothing, she's fine," Teddy said, but her eyes didn't quite meet Arizona's blue orbs.

"You're lying. She told you not to tell me. I can hear it in her voice when she calls. What did she tell you not to tell me? What happened to her?"

Her voice had risen without her awareness. The silence was awkward, but after a few moments of it and Teddy looking around the room ashamed, Mark spoke up, "Arizona, maybe you and Teddy should talk about that stuff later."

Her gaze unwavering, Arizona relented. With a nod, she stood.

"Are you hungry, Teddy?" Lexie asked.

After a silent look of thanks to Mark, Teddy walked over to the kitchen and helped herself to the large spread that had been a day in the making. Arizona walked to her room as the conversation returned to normal. Her heart was sinking, she had been right. Something was wrong with Callie.

"She's okay, Arizona," Mark's voice greeted her from the doorway. "It's something minor that she doesn't want you to worry about. Teddy would have told you otherwise. Cal just doesn't want you to worry."

"I can't believe she's back. When Lex answered the door, I thought for sure that it was Callie. But then it was Teddy and she looks like a ghost. Which raises a hundred questions. And then it's confirmed that Callie is lying to me. She just showed up," Arizona looked up, tears shining in her eyes.

"Robbins," Mark said. Arizona looked up. "She wasn't Callie."

"And that's horrible! All that she went through and all I can think about is 'Why wasn't it Callie at the door? Why can't Callie come home?' And then, 'What happened to Callie?' I can't be happy or relieved that Teddy is back because I'm too busy being worried about Callie."

"You aren't happy or relieved?" Mark questioned with a raised eyebrow.

Arizona stared at him. "Well of course I am–but–and–and Sofia is talking about grenades and blowing things up and throwing her rubber ducky out of the tub because a bomb hit him!"

"What?"

"She was in the tub and she started screaming for me and then she said a grenade hit her ducky and he flew across the room, except she threw him, got water all over the floor, and she said 'grenadade' instead of grenade." Arizona started shaking, "Why can't Callie come home?"

"She'll be home soon, Arizona. Just believe in that. Sofia is just processing everything that's going on around her. And she hears things at school and she's processing. Now if she starts building bombs or throwing punches, we have something to worry about," Mark said, he wrapped his arms around Arizona and let her cry into his chest. "You're a good mom, you're a good wife. You're worried about Callie, that's normal. You're human. You're a good person. So go be happy for Teddy and worry about Callie at the same time."

Arizona glared at him, but it was more of a pout than a glare. She wiped her eyes dry and allowed him to take her by the hand.

"She'll be home soon, Arizona."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Thanks to Dr-Arizona for checking my Spanish for me. You're awesome.  
>I hope you guys like this chapter ;) it's a lot longer.<p>

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><p><em>I'm going to kill you. Do you hear me? When you get home and you're safe and alive, I will kill you.<em>

_Shot! Calliope Torres! You got shot? And you didn't tell me? You got shot, in the arm, you were out of commission for TWO WEEKS! And you didn't tell me? Calliope, I'm going to ring your neck. I'm going to beat you until you are black and blue. I'm going to singlehandedly kill you._

_Thank God that's all. Thank God it was only a graze. Thank God nothing else happened to you. Because if it was something more major, I would come over there and kill you!_

_Sofia doesn't know. She'd think you were dead if I told her without you being here. So you get to tell her that. You get to deal with all of those questions. Maybe I'll just let her kill you. Because she's going to. Although maybe not since Sof has taken a liking to grenades. Maybe she'll think it's cool that you got shot. But either way, one of us will kill you. Maybe even Mark will join in, but I think he already knew because he wasn't nearly as surprised as he should have been. Which pisses me off._

_On another note, I can't believe Teddy is back. That was the biggest shock in the world, seeing her face, seeing her standing in the doorway. She's staying here; she's going to be sleeping on the couch until I can fix up something better. She's going to look for a new apartment I think, but she can't go back to work yet and I told her to take her time. You can't imagine how uplifting it has been to have her home. The hospital won't be quite so dreary and Sofia loves having someone else to dote on her at all times._

_If I could give you some words of advice, don't call for a while. At least let my anger die out a little. Because I will kill you, Calliope Torres. Mark my words._

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><p>It was almost a month to the day since Teddy had returned and despite Arizona's pleas, the stubborn surgeon was moving out two days before Christmas. So Arizona was loading Teddy's few bags into the back of her Expedition. Teddy had gone to her storage unit across town to unload boxes and Arizona was supposed to meet her at the new apartment. Sofia was with Mark today, after school, so she didn't have to worry about being home to meet the bus. Her mind wasn't focused on anything except the fact that the air smelled like snow on the way. As Arizona was closing the trunk, she saw a blue sedan pull up to her building. She'd seen it a few times, passing by, and when a uniformed military officer stepped out of the driver's seat, her heart dropped into her stomach. She steadily continued on her way back, hoping that she was wrong, but as she crossed the street he called out to her.<p>

"Ma'am," he asked. "Do you know where I might find doctor Arizona Robbins?"

Her heart sank further. "I am her." She knew what was coming. She had been preparing herself for this. Steeling herself and willing the oncoming tears to stay back, she waited to hear the dreaded words proclaiming Callie's death.

"I'm looking for Major Altman," he said, almost casually.

Arizona's brow twisted in confusion. "You don't…you aren't looking for me?"

"Yes ma'am. I was told Major Altman was staying with you. Do you know where I might find her?" he asked.

"She's moving," Arizona said, hooking her thumb over her shoulder. Her mind was still reeling and hadn't quite caught up to the conversation. "I'm on my way to help her now. Are you sure you aren't looking for me?" She had been sure that heart-wrenching new had been coming her way.

Arizona heard another car door open and close. "He's not, but I am."

She turned, but she didn't need to. She would know that voice anywhere. The way the tone washed up to her ears and the words carried her back out to sea. The melody of the voice crashed over her head and threatened to tug her under the warm current of blissful peace. She held her breath, not daring to believe it until she saw with her crystal blue eyes the military uniform, the dark tanned skin, and those brilliant ebony eyes. Her jaw went slack as she raised her gaze. Her peripheral mind registered that the uniformed man was stepping back as she took a weightless step forward. And then she was running, breaking through her trance, and flinging her arms around the woman standing before her. "Oh Callie."

"Hey, baby," Callie wrapped her arms around Arizona in a breathtaking hug. "I missed you so much."

It seemed like time stopped as Callie held her. She buried her face in Callie's neck, breathing in her scent. The usual warm vanilla was now mixed with hints of desert storms and the oddly familiar scent of the military. She forgot the stranger that was leaning against the hood of the car, giving them as much privacy as he could. Arizona pulled back, just enough to tentatively press her lips to Callie's. Callie kissed her back, catching her lips as though she would never let go.

Then Callie broke for air and they just stared at each other before Arizona reared back and smacked Callie on the chest. "I'm going to kill you."

Callie jumped, shocked.

Before she could say anything, Arizona snapped, "You got shot! You got shot and you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't want you to worry," Callie said softly, trying to grab Arizona's flailing arms. "Would you stop freaking out? I'm alive and okay. I have three days, you really want to spend them all yelling at me?"

Arizona glared at her hard before breaking down in tears. "You're home. I can't believe you're home. I've missed you so much, Calliope."

"I've missed you too, baby. More than you will ever know."

They dropped Teddy's stuff and her mystery man off at the new apartment. Apparently, Teddy knew him very well though, because she jumped into his arms when she saw him. Callie grasped Arizona's hand as they drove back through the city. Just having Callie physically present lifted all of the weight off of Arizona's chest. She was safe. She was home. And for three days, Arizona wouldn't have to wonder if she was lying in the desert somewhere dead. She took the well-practiced turn down the road to Sofia's elementary school.

"It's only 11," Callie said.

"Don't tell me that you aren't dying to see her," Arizona shot Callie a disbelieving look. "We can make out like horny teenagers later."

The brilliant smile that always warmed Arizona's heart grew across Callie's face. "Is she big?"

"You won't believe how she's grown, Callie. And you're all she talks about. She wants to be just like you. She's so smart," Arizona said, smiling as they pulled into the parking lot. She got out, but noticed that Callie had yet to move. "Calliope?"

"I'm okay," Callie dried the tears forming in her eyes. "It's just been a long time. You have no idea how many times we drove around the city before I got up the courage to see you. Kevin had to put up with a lot of crying."

"Teddy's guy?" Arizona asked. Callie nodded. Arizona gave her a few moments to collect herself. "Ready?"

The Latina nodded and climbed out of the passenger seat. She took Arizona's hand again as they walked towards the school. Arizona shot her a smile, "I've missed that."

"Hmm?"

"Your super magic smile," Callie said. Arizona leaned into her, savoring the physical contact. They walked slowly as they enjoyed being together, but it was a definitively cold day and Callie started shivering. "I'm used to the desert heat."

"You want my coat?" Arizona asked, knowing that Callie would decline.

"No," the smile came again. "We'll be inside soon."

When they finally made it inside the warmth of the school, Arizona steered her wife into the office. "Hi, I'm Arizona Robbins, Sofia Torres' mother. I'm here to pick her up."

"Reason?" the secretary asked without looking up.

"My wife is home from Iraq and Sofia hasn't seen her mom in months," Arizona snapped, a bit of irritation seeping into her voice.

The secretary looked up. "Oh. I'm sorry."

"Major Calliope Torres," Callie held out her hand.

"Welcome back Major Torres," she said. "I'll call Ms. Scott and have her get Sofia packed up. Would you like to head down to her classroom?"

"We will," Arizona said. "Please make sure Ms. Scott knows that this is a surprise."

The two women took their time walking down to Sofia's classroom, arm in arm. The air seemed to be getting warmer as they walked and Callie's shivering had subsided. Her uniform was thin and they hadn't thought to grab her a coat from the apartment. Arizona stopped outside of a colorful door and pulled it open. The sounds of happy children greeted Callie's ears as she stepped into the room behind Arizona. Gasps arose from the young children as they saw the uniform. Many of them sat up straight and grew silent.

"Sofia," a soft voice from the teacher called out. "Your mom is here."

Sofia trotted over, oblivious to Callie's presence until Arizona stepped aside. The five year old stopped. Her dark eyes grew huge and she looked confused. Then she ran, the same way her mother had. "Mamá!"

"Hola niňa," Callie smiled, scooping her up into her arms with ease. "¿Comó estás?"

"Bien, Mamá," Sofia was almost crying. "You're home!"

While Callie and Sofia got reacquainted, Arizona thanked Ms. Scott and apologized for the disruption. Then she turned back to her girls and ushered them out of the classroom. She couldn't help the huge smile that was plastered on her face. Mamá and child were both crying and laughing as they jabbered in broken Spanish to each other, Callie helping Sofia with words that she didn't know.

"¿Cuantos aňos tienes?"

"Cinco," Sofia held up five fingers. "You missed my birthday."

"I did?" She let mock shame leak into her voice for Sofia's sake. She wasn't trying to tease her daughter, but she also knew that Sofia knew she was well aware of what she had missed.

Sofia looked away, a sad little pout forming on her cute lips. "Si."

"Lo siento, cariňo," Callie said, kissing her forehead. "I didn't want to. I wanted so badly to be there, Sof."

"Yo se, Mamá," Sofia said, burying her head into Callie's shoulder again. "Madre me dijo."

Arizona put her arm around Callie's back. "We're just glad that Mamá is home safe, aren't we?"

Sofia nodded as she clung to Callie's neck. They turned and walked out of the building, Callie bracing herself against the chill. She refused to put Sofia down and Sofia refused to let go even long enough for her mother to take her backpack off. It was a fight to get her into the car, but at a gentle word from Callie, she reluctantly climbed into her car seat. As they drove down the street, Callie reached back and grabbed Sofia's foot, causing an eruption of giggles. "¿Mamá, ya fuistes a ver a papá? ¿Tía Lexie?"

"No baby, hablar en Inglés para tu madre, ¿bien?" Callie told her. "You ready to get rid of me already?"

"No! No Mamá! Don't go," Sofia suddenly went frantic, lunging forward to grab Callie's hand.

Callie twisted so she could more fully reach Sofia's small hand. Looking in the rearview mirror, Arizona caught the panicked expression on her daughter's face. She knew that feeling well. "I'm not leaving, baby girl."

Through sniffles, Sofia replied, "But you are. You're leaving again, aren't you?"

Callie shot Arizona a look and sighed. "You know how you have a winter break?

Sofia nodded.

"Well, this is like that. Mamá has a break and then she has to go back. But school doesn't last forever right?"

Sofia shook her head. "Summer!"

Laughing, Callie agreed. "Right. I get to come home at summer too."

The little girl thought for a moment. "But you weren't here last summer."

"I told you," Arizona said with a quiet chuckle. "She's got her parents' brains."

"Sometimes," Callie tried to explain with a sidelong glance at her wife. "If you don't know everything you need to know, you have to go to summer school. That's kind of like what Mamá had to do with training camp."

She watched Sofia's brow furrow in concentration and the smile that snuck back up onto her face couldn't be helped. That brow furrow reminded her so much of Mark. She had missed being a part of her daughter's life. She had missed getting to watch her grow up. All she'd wanted was a kid and now she was missing out on it. At this age, kids grew up so fast.

* * *

><p>Mark burst into the Robbins-Torres apartment. "Robbins! What's the big idea stealing my kid?"<p>

"Arizona went out," Callie stepped out of the bedroom. Her military fatigues had been shed for civilian clothing the moment they'd gotten home; she looked as though she'd been right there all along. "But I didn't think you would mind."

Mark stared at her. "Cal?"

"Hey Mark," she smiled, moving towards him for a hug. She relished the feeling of his strong protective arms around her. After doing so much of the fighting, it was nice to feel safe. "I missed you."

"God, I missed you too, Cal," he said. "When did you get in?"

"This morning," she said. She heard little thundering feet and Sofia joined them. Callie reached down and picked her up. "I can't get enough of this one."

"Hi daddy," Sofia said happily, snuggling into Callie's shoulder.

"Hi Sof. Happy your Mamá is home?" He asked. She nodded vigorously. "So…how are you? How's the arm?"

"It was just a graze, and aside from telling me that she was going to kill me, Arizona hasn't mentioned it. But I'm fine. It's been healed for a while now," she said, bouncing Sofia on her hip. "I'm one of the lucky ones."

* * *

><p>After Mark finally left for the evening, after enough hugs to last anyone a life time, Callie went to put Sofia to bed. Arizona followed after a few minutes, standing in the doorway to watch her favorite scene. Callie was kneeling by Sofia's bed, holding her hand and stroking her hair. The song she was singing made Arizona close her eyes and transported her to a land far away, where everyone was safe. She didn't know the words. Callie always sung to Sofia in Spanish and though Arizona had learned a fair bit, she couldn't process it fast enough to understand what Callie was saying. But it took her to another place, often putting her so far under its spell that she didn't know when Callie stopped singing. Like many nights in the past, she was brought back to reality by Callie's hand on her back and her soft lips on her neck. "She's asleep."<p>

Taking Arizona by the hand, Callie led the way back to their bedroom. "Finally alone."

"Oh, because having Sofia on your lap all night was such a hardship," Arizona laughed, running her hand along Callie's jaw to cradle the back of her head.

"After the desert," Callie said, "nothing is a hardship. Not compared to leaving my family."

"We're okay," Arizona said softly. "But we missed you. We missed you a lot. It's been–"

"I know," Callie supplied. "It's been hell."

Arizona looked up, tears shining in her eyes. "Worse than hell."

Callie reached up and wiped the lone tear creeping down a pale cheek, "It'll…it'll be over soon." She didn't know what to say to comfort Arizona and it was a terrible feeling. So instead of trying to say something that could potentially make the situation worse, she leaned in and kissed Arizona gently. The blonde's mouth opened to her immediately and their tongues brushed against one another. It wasn't the hot sexy tango that they remembered in their dreams; it was much more of a waltz. After months of separation they just wanted to touch each other, feel each other again and take as much time as possible doing it. Hands slid across necks and shoulders, heated whispers elicited shivers that crept down spines. Arizona's knees buckled when Callie's lips moved to her neck and began sucking at her pulse. But Callie caught her and carried her to bed, to their bed that had for months felt as empty and vast as the Pacific Ocean.

Arizona pushed herself back into the middle of the bed, and growled seductively when Callie tugged her t-shirt off and crawled over her. Blue eyes darkened with lust at the feel of Callie's strong hands moving on her skin beneath her camisole. "Get it off."

Grinning, Callie ripped the shirt off. Her lips immediately replaced her hands on Arizona's soft skin. Starting at her stomach, Callie placed light kisses over the flat plain. Her tongue swiped over ribs, causing a long missed groan to escape Arizona's throat. When she arched, Callie's hands slipped beneath her and made quick work of her bra. Her hot mouth fell against a milky shoulder, sucking and biting at the skin as her hands molded newly freed breasts.

Arizona's hands rushed across Callie's back, pulling her bra over her head between bruising kisses, not bothering to waste time unhinging the clasp. Her legs shifted and her left knee slid up between Callie's causing a moan to vibrate over her skin. She caught Callie's lips again in passion, deepening their kisses as hands wandered and nails raked. She wanted to feel all of Callie. It had been so long since she'd felt Callie's hands on her, her weight pressing her back into the mattress, and her tongue filling the empty space in her mouth. Too soon, and at the same time not soon enough, she felt her sweatpants being tugged down her legs and Callie's fingers sliding back up the insides of her thighs.

* * *

><p>Two days later, they were standing in the airport. Callie was back in her fatigues, her daughter clinging to her neck. It had been a long and full three days, but they could never have been long enough for the young family. Sofia was not happy. She had just gotten her Mamá back and used to the idea of her being back, when suddenly she was being taken away again. Big cold tears were washing out her lightly browned cheeks and landing on Callie's shoulder, making dark splotches that disappeared into the camouflage. "Why Mamá?"<p>

"I'm sorry, baby," Callie whispered, trying to hold back tears as she kissed the side of Sofia's head.

"Please don't go."

It was breaking Callie's heart. She turned to Arizona again in an attempt to keep her own tears at bay, only to see those crystal clear blue eyes that she would see every time she blinked swimming in tears. "Arizona."

The blonde shook her head, ringlet curls bouncing around her, reminding Callie far too much of another goodbye years ago in the middle of the same airport. "We'll be fine," she took Sofia into her own arms. "Right Sof? We'll be just fine."

Sofia buried her face into Arizona's neck, crying gently and peeking out at Callie.

"And Mamá is going to be just fine and she'll be home for good soon," Arizona looked down at her daughter before looking back up at Callie. For a moment, they just looked at each other. Arizona wanted to laugh, because at times like these one expected scenes from movies of epic love and passionate kisses, but this was reality and that was the source of her tears. This was her reality. Everything that needed to be said, they passed between them in those few minutes. Callie jerked as her flight was called over the speakers. "Go on babe, go save people's lives. We'll be right here cheering you on. Give Mamá a kiss, Sof."

Sofia reached out and Callie leaned in to kiss her. Then she looked up and put her arms around Arizona, holding her family together. Callie kissed her briefly, not lingering and gave Arizona her best smile. "Hang in there, Zona. I'm going to be fine. And I will be home soon. In one piece."

"I'll hold you to that, Calliope. I love you."

"I love you, too," Callie blinked back the tears that were brimming in her eyes. "I love you so much, Sof."

"Bye Mamá," Sofia replied quietly. "Be safe."

"I will baby. Take care of Mommy for me okay?" Callie smiled and kissed her daughter's forehead. She looked back up at her love one last time. "Bye Arizona."

"Go on, get out of here, kick some desert ass," Arizona said. She watched Callie shoulder her bag and walk off to get on her plane. "And come home."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: _It was a long wait, I know, but in return you get a long update. I hope you guys really like this update. I know that I do. Thanks for all of the reviews. I know that I haven't replied to many of you, but I read all of them and they mean a lot to me._

* * *

><p><em>You left about a month ago, but I missed you before you were even gone. It's been incredibly hard to readjust. You were only here for three days, but it felt like just hours and even still I turn corners and expect you to be there. But it's seemed like years since you've been gone. Sofia asks every day after school if you're home again yet. It's heart breaking to tell her no. We cried the whole way to the car and home that day. It was so hard to watch you walk away again, even though we know that you have to. We know that you have to go and we know that you don't want to go and that makes it that much harder, Calliope. We spent the rest of the day talking about everything we did together. Sofia LOVED watching all of those videos with you; she took great pride in her star quality. She wanted to watch them again, and then she wanted to make you another one.<em>

_She's taken to sleeping in my bed again because you aren't there to sing her to sleep the way you did. But that's okay, because after just two nights with you, I don't want to sleep alone again. Going to the park while it was snowing was beautiful. Our spot in the park will always be beautiful. It was a perfect Christmas and Sofia was even more thrilled that you liked her hat._

_I need you to call me, soon, because I need to hear your voice. Sof, she's resilient, but she needs you to call too. Oh, and when she spends the night at Mark's, she's sleeping in between him and Lexie, and that's a little awkward for them. But they are good sports about it. I know he doesn't feel like he got to see you enough. But I think, after the many comments he made about my weight or lack thereof, that it was just enough. None of us got to see you enough though. He misses his best friend. I miss my best friend. I miss my wife. Having Teddy here is nice. It makes the hospital a little less dreary, and she talks about what it's like over there. It helps us understand what you and Owen are going through. But it scares me because I know that she's holding back some of the worst stuff. I know that you did too._

_It snowed…well it's snowed a lot but up until recently, it's been too icy to play in. But it snowed the other day and it was the perfect packing snow. Needless to say, many snowball fights broke out amongst the interns and residents. Bailey and I took the kids out to play during a break in our day, including Zola. We built snowmen and when she was done Sofia stared at hers for a long time. She asked me to pick her up and she sat her hat on top. She still wears it every day. You should have seen how fast the snowballs fell to the ground. Everyone was moved by her gesture. Just about everyone said something to me about it. I had to steal her hat back because she freaked out when I took it off, but I didn't want someone to actually steal it. That hat means everything to her._

_I haven't slept in days. Three days to be exact. I keep seeing the coffins. Every time I close my eyes I see the jets and the coffins and the American flags. I'm really starting to hate that flag. I've had some insane surgeries. Sofia has started watching them, and by that I mean playing in the gallery while I or Mark is in surgery. Everyone loves her though and apparently she asks astute questions for her age. Meredith says that she reminds her or herself, which kind of scares me, but I think Sofia is a little bit more normal than Meredith Grey._

_I miss you, Calliope. It's getting easier to miss you again, but the longing isn't going away. I really miss you._

* * *

><p>Arizona didn't want to go home. Not today, not to an empty apartment. The hospital was determined to remind her at every turn that she was alone, with hearts and red and streamers everywhere. She was trying desperately hard to ignore it. While she was happy for the hospitals many couples, she just really wanted to ignore this particular Hallmark holiday. So she had volunteered for child duty. Zola and Tucker were coming over to stay the night to give their parents a night off. But she still didn't want to go home, even with the abounding joy of children.<p>

Sighing, she headed down to the hospital daycare to collect her young charges, but found that they had all been picked up. "Where are my kids?"

"Your kids? I thought you just had one, Dr. Robbins," the nurse said. "Sofia is with Mark."

"Zola Shepherd? Tucker Bailey?" she asked.

"Lexie Grey picked them up about half an hour ago."

As if on cue, her phone rang. "Mark Sloan! Where is my kid?"

"Just repaying the favor, Blondie," he laughed. "Go home, shower, get yourself all pretty. Your kid and I are taking you out. And she's all ready to go."

"Mark," she said, broken. "Please, just let me watch the kids."

"No can do. It'll be good for you. You need to get out of that apartment. Sofia has a surprise for you. You don't want to disappoint your daughter now do you?"

"Mark."

"Callie wouldn't let me," Mark said finally. "I have directions. Go home and get ready, Robbins. Lex has the other kids and I'm not asking."

Giving up, she dejectedly headed out of the hospital and to her car. She drove slow, trying to make time go by faster, bring the night and tomorrow close. She didn't want to disappoint Sofia, but today was just hard. It was just a hard day, and no one got that. Without Callie, today was just a hard day.

She took a hot shower, letting the steam clear her mind, but Callie was haunting her skin. She could almost feel those strong hands running down her arms along with the water. She didn't understand how anything good could come from tonight. All she could imagine was compounded loneliness as she tried to fall asleep beside her daughter later that night. The black rain accompanying her dreams that night would serve to push her deeper into the depression that had been clouding her mind as of late.

Mark made it seem like Callie had set this up, but she hadn't heard from Callie since the airport. If Mark had, tonight would not be the night to divulge that information. She didn't know why she wasn't coping. This wasn't her, but then again it was completely her, wrapped up into her fears surrounding Timothy. And when she was around Sofia, it was as if the sun was peeking through the dark clouds of her psyche. "Everything happens for a reason," she muttered out loud.

She knew that much was true. She had never wanted kids and now her kid was the only reason she was staying afloat. She had never liked Mark and now he was closer than a brother to her. He was her daughter's father. He wasn't her husband, but he was as close as she could imagine getting to one. She needed them more than anything.

"Robbins!" his voice rang through the apartment. She smoothed the wrinkles out of her dress and tossed her hair. This was for Callie. The makeup and the jewelry were for Callie. Her going along with it, that was for Sofia. "Robbins! Let's go! You look fine!"

She stepped into her heels and greeted him at the door, pulling her coat around her. "I know, Mark."

He beamed at her and led the walk, carrying Sofia in his arms. "Mommy, you look pretty. Estás muy bonita."

"Gracias," Arizona said, throwing her best accent into the phrase. "You're getting better."

Sofia grinned, "Thank you. I want to know it all when Mamá gets home."

"Everything?" Arizona grinned. "That's a lot to learn in a few months."

"Sof can do it, can't you?" Mark chimed in.

The little girl let her grin grow, "Yeah Daddy!"

Mom and dad laughed together. Arizona followed Mark's lead out to his sporty Audi. He bent over and snapped Sofia into her car seat. Then he opened the passenger side door for Arizona. She slid into the pristine leather seat with a graceful thank you. Turning to Sofia, she whispered conspiratorially, "Where are we going?"

"Daddy told me to keep my big mouth shut," Sofia said too loudly.

"That's right," Mark said as he climbed into the driver's seat. "Just relax, Arizona."

He reached over and squeezed her knee in a gesture of reassurance. She glowered at him, wishing that she could shoot lasers out of her eyes like those cartoons that Sofia watched. Eventually, they did settle into a peaceful chatter. Arizona didn't notice where they were going. It felt good to be out and about, talking about work, kids, and school. She could almost forget the pain of Callie's absence, almost.

"We're here," Mark said, pulling up to the curb. Someone opened the passenger door for Arizona and she took the gloved hand of the valet as she stepped out. _Indalo, _Callie's favorite place to bring Arizona during their few dates, rose before her. It was one of the most high end restaurants in the city. Mark got Sofia out of the back and threw the keys to the valet. "Not a scratch."

"Yes sir," the young man said dutifully.

"It's got to be fun, being a valet," Arizona chuckled. "You get to drive all the rich people's cars without having to own them yourself."

Mark offered her his free arm, "Let's go to dinner, shall we Mrs. Torres?"

She took his arm with a grateful smile at the gesture and they walked up the few stairs into the restaurant. They didn't wait in line, but rather Mark tipped his head at the hostess and someone appeared out of nowhere to lead them to a seat. "Mark," Arizona hated skirting lines.

"Tonight has been completely arranged by your beloved. Not by me," he shifted her blame onto Callie. "Besides, who doesn't love VIP treatment?"

"I feel like you're far too used to it."

They sat in a booth, semi-secluded from the other patrons. Arizona had shed her coat, not oblivious to Mark's stares as she slid into the booth next to her kid. Dad sat across from two of his women, sorely missing the third and fourth. Lexie had taken her niece and Tucker for the night to free up Arizona, and they hadn't heard from Callie in a month. But he was trying to not think about that tonight, even though he knew it was all that was on Arizona's mind. Their food came out and the talk fell to the wayside. Arizona realized how hungry she was. She'd stopped eating again, not on purpose; the days were just getting away from her. She reached around to help Sofia with her chicken tenders every few minutes, cutting them into smaller bites.

"Dr. Sloan," the waiter came to the table. "You have a phone call. If you could follow me."

Arizona looked at him in confusion. "I didn't know that they took phone calls for their patrons too."

Mark shrugged, winked at Sofia, and slid out of the booth to follow the waiter.

"Why do I feel like your Daddy is up to something, Sof?" Arizona eyed her suspiciously.

"Not Daddy, Mom. Mamá," Sofia laughed. "It's all Mamá's idea."

The look of confusion continued to spread across Arizona's features. "What do you mean, Sof?"

"I not telling," the little girl shook her head.

"I'm," Arizona corrected.

"I'm not telling," Sofia raised her chin defiantly.

"You look like your father," Arizona rolled her eyes.

"Damn right," Mark reappeared, package in tow. "They got a little confused. It was a package, not a phone call." He winked at Sofia again. "Let's see what we've got here."

Arizona watched as Mark pulled a laptop out of the box. Callie's laptop. She held her breath as Mark sat it down in front of her. Then he handed her an envelope. "Open it."

With trembling fingers, she opened the envelope and pulled out a letter in Callie's familiar script. Tears sprung to her eyes as the faintest scent of Callie's perfume wafted towards her.

_My dearest Arizona,_

_I hate that I have to be writing this, instead of saying it to you in person. I would love nothing more than to be sending you on a wild goose chase for your present. But due to the circumstances, this was my best bet. I know Mark isn't always the best gamble, but I'm praying that he works out well this time.  
>Turn on the laptop. The video should immediately play. If it doesn't, go to…<em>

Arizona waited as the laptop warmed up and gasped when Callie's face, body clad in uniform, greeted her. "Hey baby, I know this sucks. I miss you more than anyone could guess, but I know you'll disagree. You'll say that you miss me more. I haven't called, I know. I had to go undercover, but I didn't know how to tell you. So I hope that you'll forgive me. I made them send me home first though, because I couldn't do this without seeing you again, I will call you as soon as I can, Arizona. You have no idea how hard it is to not hear your voice.

"Don't forget how much I love you. Don't ever forget that. Your beautiful face is what keeps me going over here. I'm fighting for you, for Sofia, to make sure that you stay safe. I may not want to be here, but I'm here for you. I see your eyes every time I blink. I can't wait to touch your skin again, and hold you close.

"There is a cd in the box. It's for Sof. It should help her sleep."

Mark pulled a labeled cd out of the box and handed it to Sofia. "I think you'll have Mamá to sing you to sleep from now on, baby."

Callie's video continued, "You said she was having a hard time sleeping without my singing.

"Your present was a little harder to fit into a box. It's kind of big. So whenever you are done with dinner, Mark is going to take you for a drive. He'll tell you when to press play again. But to tide you over, Mark will give you the larger box."

Mark quickly shuffled around and pulled out a long velvet box. Inside was a silver necklace with a brilliant heart designed pendant encrusted with diamonds that would make a millionaire gasp. He stood and bade her turn so that he could place it around her neck.

"What else did she get me, Mark?" Arizona asked, the necklace was more than enough.

"You'll see," he said, ducking his head sheepishly.

* * *

><p>She was pretty sure that Mark had been driving them around in circles on purpose. Seattle was big, but not that big, and Sofia was starting to get restless.<p>

"Turn on the video again," Mark said, turning down another street.

With an exasperated sigh, Arizona obliged.

"Now that I'm sure Mark has driven you around in circles for hours just to torture you, he should be taking you to your final destination. There is a small box in the package. Take it out, but don't open it.

"My father insisted on this, but I knew you wouldn't want to do this without me. However, due to his business arrangement, time ran out and you have to. So I'll try to make it as easy as possible. This was supposed to be your anniversary present, but now it's your Valentine's Day present.

"Mark should be coming to a stop soon. Open the little box, and then look up. You're going to hate it at first, but maybe you'll love it later. I love you, Arizona. I'll be back as soon as possible. Happy Valentine's Day, mi cariňo. Welcome home."

Arizona sat the laptop down and opened the box. A set of keys fell out. Small metal keys. Four of them. She felt the Audi jar and elevate slightly. She raised her gaze to look out the windshield.

"Mommy," Sofia asked, "where are we?"

Arizona shook her head, not believing what she was seeing. A house stood before them in a residential neighborhood. But these weren't the suburbs. There were at least three acres and an iron fence surrounding the house. This was a high end neighborhood, like only Carlos Torres would afford for them. There were other houses nearby; she could see luxury cars and porch lights.

"Mommy! Where are we?"

"We're home, baby," Arizona said, dazed. She got out of the car and stood in the driveway, the skirt of her dress swaying in the breeze. Silent tears slid down her cheeks. She and Callie had discussed moving to a bigger place with Sofia growing up. They had even gone to look at houses at one point. But they'd never found anything suitable.

This house was the picture of beauty. The lights lining the porch windows cast a warm glow and lit up the entire front of the house. It was an architectural masterpiece. There were double doors in the center of the porch, painted deep blue to match the shutters and trim around the arched windows. The second level was more expansive than the first, extending over the three car garage. It was excessive, they didn't need so much space, but she had married a Torres and this was simply standard.

"Come on, Arizona," Mark put a hand on her back. He'd gotten Sofia out of the car and she was running around wildly across the concrete parking pad. She looked up at him and met his eyes. "We have to go inside."

Arizona felt like she was floating as they made their way up the steps to the doors. She barely heard Mark's barking order for Sofia to come with them. Turning the keys in the lock, Arizona opened the doors to a dark foyer. Her heels clacked loudly when she stepped inside and her downcast eyes could make out the swirl of marble. Mark turned on the lights behind her and brilliant glass and crystal chandelier lit up the room. The staircase to the left was twice as wide as it needed to be, dark wood rising is a curve to the next level of the house. A walk-in closet to the side had Mark's attention, while Arizona's readjusted to the mirror on her right. Then Sofia pointed up at something, and Arizona saw pictures hanging on the wall, following the ascent of the staircase. Resounding clacks fleeted her ears as she made her way to them, smiling like a kid as her own face met her eyes. She was gazing upwards, to the next portrait.

She remembered getting these done, Callie had insisted upon it. The middle portrait was of a very happily smiling Sofia. And beyond that, at the top of the stairs, was her beautiful Calliope, staring lovingly down at her daughter. Sofia's call tore her away from the pictures and she followed her two companions into a grand living room. Deep plush carpet gave away beneath her heels. Polished wood end tables complimented the leather furniture and tall bookcases were filled with all kinds of books and trinkets that Arizona had thought were packed away in storage. Callie must have been dearly relying upon the fact that she never went to the storage unit. A large portrait hung over the couch. They had gotten this one done separately, right before Callie had gone to boot camp. Arizona and Callie sat to the left of Sofia, with Mark and Lexie on the right side. It was as if Callie had known her best friend would marry the younger Grey, because she had insisted upon her being in the picture. Arizona smiled sadly, her perfect family was staring her in the face, and Callie looked so happy. But Callie wasn't here to witness this homecoming.

Mark steered her into the kitchen and dining room, but at that point she was overwhelmed. Everything was brand new. The house was already furnished with designs and furniture that she and Callie had picked out almost a year ago. She didn't have to do anything except bring all of their stuff over, if she could handle that without Callie. "Arizona, she's not done yet."

Blinking, Arizona realized that she had been sitting. For how long, she didn't know. "What do you mean?"

"There's an entire upstairs still," he said gently. This was a lot for her, and he didn't want to push her too far.

Finding an exploring Sofia trying to escape to the outside, they wrangled her into going upstairs with them. Sofia's new room was huge and very pink. Arizona didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Callie hated pink. She hated it so much. But their daughter loved pink, a trait that Callie swore Arizona had somehow genetically implanted into her. They left Sofia to play in her new room, full of toys from her grandparents, and Mark walked her to the master bedroom at the end of the hall.

White painted double doors met her with no resistance as she entered the room. A gasp left her lungs. It was beautiful. While maintaining some of Callie's signature bat cave feel, lighter elements of beige and soft greens had been brought into the overall design to compliment Arizona. Clean cut and elegant, Arizona found it hard to believe that she hadn't lived here for her entire life. She couldn't take in everything at once, but her eyes converged on something lying in the middle of the bed. She made her way forward. A dark wooden box was sitting on the bed. The word engraved on the lid was "cariňo." She hesitantly opened it and pulled out a final letter.

_Para mi cari__ň__o.  
>I will hold you in the bed.<br>I will cook for you in this kitchen.  
>I will watch our daughter grow with you in this yard.<br>I will love you in this house.  
>I will come home and I will love you for the rest of my long, long life.<em>

_PS – the chickens arrive on Saturday._

The crying blonde began to laugh.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: _I'm sorry that this update has taken so long. School has been a huge pain in the ass, I've had exams and papers due for the past two weeks. This is the second to last update, just one more to go. _:)

_This chapter is written for and dedicated to my girlfriend, who I miss more than anything._

* * *

><p><em>This is the first entry that I am writing you from our new home. It's beautiful, Calliope. Absolutely beautiful. I have no idea how you managed to pull all of this together behind my back without my knowledge at all. I'm starting to think that you're having secret correspondences with Mark, and that bothers me a little bit. I'd rather hear from you than have all of this, you have to know that. He just seems to know things before I do. But maybe it's better that way. This house though, this is amazing. It's gorgeous, perfect for us. I think it's a little big, but I married a Torres so I understand that this comes with the territory. We'll be the ones throwing all of the dinner parties now I suppose. Now that we have a luxury bed and breakfast for a house. I'm just kidding. I don't know how you managed to blend our tastes so well. The whole place just suits us. The dark wood with the beige, the mirrors and the lights. The stainless steel appliances with the earthy tone of the walls, counter, and cabinets in the kitchen. It's brilliant. And Sofia loves it here. Her room makes me want to barf and pink is my favorite color. That girl, your daughter, thinks she is a princess. She is a princess. And I even love that Mark and Lexie have a place here if need be. It makes watching Sof easier now that we aren't right across the hall.<em>

_I can't believe that you actually bought me chickens. I sort of thought that was a joke. They made a mess everywhere, but it was a blast. Now they are confined to their own section of the yard. If you are in on what I'm about to tell you, I might have to hurt you. Now, on top of the chickens, a daughter, and a twenty minute commute, I have a dog. A dog, Calliope! Your daughter got me a dog for Valentine's Day, Calliope. And not just a little dog, a big dog. A German Shepherd. A GERMAN SHEPHERD! From the pound. Are you kidding me, Calliope? How am I supposed to raise a daughter, a dog, and chickens? Alone?_

_But seriously, I love this dog. She's wonderful. Her name is Cherokee. She's three and was waiting on the back porch when Mark showed me the house. She is the sweetest thing, a little love bug. She sleeps at the foot of our bed and is up in an instant if Sofia makes any noise. The dog is a walking baby monitor. She harasses the chickens, but not too badly. I think it's healthy for them. We had to put a fence and a dog door around the side door so that she could get in and out while I'm at work. But don't worry, it's all aesthetically pleasing._

_This house feels like you. I walk into a room and I sear you were just there. I spray air freshener but all I can smell is your perfume. Sofia doesn't feel it, but sometimes it scares me. It feels almost like your ghost is here, haunting me, but that would mean you're dead and I can't think like that. In our bedroom, right now, as I'm writing this, I can feel you behind me like if I turned around fast enough, you'll be behind me, laying there smiling. I can feel your hand sliding over the curve of my hips and it raises the hair on my skin. But I know that you're not really here and the loss is crippling. I want to cry, but I can't. I can't cry anymore. But the hole in my heart keeps growing, my longing for you shaving away at it more every day. I can still feel you in my arms, baby. I can taste your lips. But it's that almost taste, that almost feel. Like if I leaned back just a little farther, or walked a few steps forward…I'm living this life of almosts and it's so hard to shake them. When I'm walking with Sofia, I can almost feel your hand in mine. Just when I'm about to go crazy from the almost, Mark takes my hands. Or sometimes Lexie, even Alex or Teddy when we're at work. But Mark is weirdly in tune with it._

_I don't want to keep living this life of almosts. I want my wife here. With me. I want you in my arms, holding me, holding our daughter. I want to be able to take those few steps forward and touch you. Actually feel your skin beneath my fingers. I want to feel your lips ghosting over my shoulder and neck, and know that if I lean back or go up on my toes I'll actually feel you there. I want the heat of your breath and the breeze of your whispers in my ear. I want to feel my hair falling out of your fingers, your nails scratching against my scalp. I want to feel you pressed against me. I want to be able to look into your deep brown eyes and melt. I want your brilliant smile to brighten my day. I want to hear the blood rushing through your veins when my head is laying on your chest._

_You make me feel safe and happy. You are home. And I haven't been home since you left. Knowing what it's like to spend every day with you, and having all of that stripped away, it hurts so much, Calliope. Just come home. Please come home. We haven't heard from you in months. I don't know what that means. Are you alive, are you dead? Should I be waiting for that knock on the door? Are my nightmares going to come true? Is Sofia going to grow up without her Mamá?_

_Just come home, baby. Come home. I've been waiting so long, don't make me wait longer. Come home._

* * *

><p>Another month had gone by without a word from Callie. It was nearing the end of April. Callie had been gone for over a year, and only been home once. Sofia had stopped asking when she was going to see her Mamá again. Arizona was another year older, Callie's birthday had come and gone, and Sofia's was coming up soon. They were getting used to a life without Callie, and that was something Arizona never wanted to get used to. She was used to sleeping alone; she was used to being a single mother. The parents of the kids in Sofia's class thought she was Mark's ex-wife or girlfriend and she hated that. The kids in Sofia's class made fun of her, one child in particular had taken to picking on Sofia's ethnicity and the fact that she didn't look like her parents. She wanted Sofia to have her Mamá. She wanted people to know Callie, because Callie was an amazing mom. Arizona wanted the chickens and the dog to know Callie. She didn't want to have an incident between Cherokee and Callie when she got back.<p>

"Cherokee!" Arizona called out the back door. The young German Shepherd came trotting up the porch and sat down at the steps. She was grinning at Arizona. The dog was starting to work Arizona's last nerve with this game. "Come."

The dog barked and trotted up over the deck and into the house. Arizona patted her head before locking the door. She grabbed the two lunch bags from the counter. Her jacket was already on; her bag slung over her shoulder. "Sofia!"

Silence met her ears from the upstairs. This was the third time she had called her daughter.

"Sofia Robbin Sloan Torres, if I count to five and you are not down the stairs and putting your shoes on, there will be no sleepover with Carey tonight! One! Two! Three!"

"I'm coming," Sofia's sassy voice called out as she ran down the stairs.

"If we are late, you are going to be in big trouble. You know Mommy has her presentation today," Arizona said sternly as Sofia put her shoes on. Arizona bent down to tie the laces quickly before helping the youngster into her jacket. "Where is your bookbag?"

"In the living room," Sofia said, jumping over a scooter to retrieve it.

"Sof. You have a lot to clean up tonight before Carey gets here," Arizona sighed.

"I'm sorry, Mom!"

As they headed outside, Sofia wandered to the side yard to say goodbye to Cherokee. "Sofia! I swear to God!"

"Mommy!"

"Get in the car!" Arizona was late. Twenty minutes late. She had to get Sofia to school and get herself to the hospital. The Chief was going to kill her. Sofia seemed to recognize that she was in trouble and she quickly got into the car. Arizona peeled out of the driveway.

* * *

><p>It had been a long day that was getting longer. Arizona's surgery had run into complications when she discovered a deformity in the two-year-old's ribs that was causing the lung problems and she found herself wishing fervidly for Callie's expertise. She had been forced to rely on Callie's second rate replacement and she wasn't sure that they had done what was best for the kid because of that.<p>

Her presentation had gone well, but the residents had asked such in-depth questions that she was mentally exhausted. After Sofia that morning, her patience was wearing thin. She snapped at nurses and residents alike. Mark had to get between her and Karev to stop an escalating fight. "Yeah, go off with your boyfriend," Alex smirked. "Wouldn't Torres like to know that you've gone straight while she's been gone."

Arizona twisted out of Mark's arms, but he caught her wrist. "Don't ruin your career, Arizona."

"Get out of here, Karev," she snapped. Karev retreated with a snarky grin. "I need a break."

"You still haven't heard anything?" Mark asked, his tone lower. "Nothing?"

"It's been four months," Arizona said. Her defeated tone gave away just how much she was starting to believe that Callie wasn't coming back after all.

"She's fine."

"I can't even worry about it, Mark," Arizona sighed. "Your daughter was a brat this morning."

"Is that why you were late?"

"Yes, and the house is a wreck."

"You want me to take her tonight?"

"Can't. Carey is coming over to spend the night," Arizona picked up a stack of patient files. A few slipped off to the top and she cursed, throwing the rest on the ground in anger.

"Arizona."

"Mark. She's gone. I don't know what else you want me to do." She sighed and picked up the files before walking away. It was the truth and she couldn't help but keep her chagrined attitude in place. She couldn't slip again.

Locking her office door behind her, she dropped the files on her desk and flopped onto the couch she'd made Mark drag in there years ago when Callie and Sofia had both been in the hospital. Her phone rang. "What?"

"Arizona?"

She almost dropped the phone, "Calliope?"

"He-hey," the voice was nervous.

"Calliope, where…oh my God. Where have you been?" Arizona was shaking. "It's been months."

"We got caught," Callie said. At Arizona's nervous intrusion she continued. "Wait…I'm perfectly fine. We just got back to base."

"Calliope," Arizona fought to breathe. "I thought you were dead."

"Shh," Callie hushed, but Arizona could hear Callie's tears. "I'm so sorry."

"Four months, four months, Callie. And nothing. I thought my nightmares were going to come true," Arizona whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks. "When are you coming home?"

"They said by the end of May, baby. But it could change. I'll try to get you a better idea, but you know the military. We never know," Callie said.

They stayed on the phone for an hour. Arizona shooed away everyone who came to her door. The breath of fresh air that had been granted to her was not something that she was willing to let go of. Arizona told Callie about the dog and how Sofia was doing in school. She told her about the kid picking on her and that she'd been a brat lately. They laughed and cried and enjoyed the sounds of each other's voices.

* * *

><p>Arizona picked up Sofia from school and she could tell that the youngster had a bad day. She was moping, and climbed into the backseat solemnly. "What happened, baby?"<p>

"Max was picking on me," Sofia sighed.

The name Max caught her attention. This was the boy they had been having trouble with. He picked on Sofia for everything. "What about?"

"I was teaching Carey how to say something in Spanish and he called me a spick," Sofia said.

Arizona was furious. The school was doing nothing to curb this kid and Sofia was far too young to know what a spick was. She swung the SUV into the bus loop and stopped in front of the principal. This was the last straw. The school was going to take care of this problem, or Arizona was going to go above the principal.

"Dr. Robbins," the principal said warily. This was never good news. "You're in the way of the buses."

"We have a problem," Arizona glared.

"Move out of the bus lane and we'll talk," she said. They moved inside to the office and Sofia was left sitting in the waiting room, swinging her legs in the chair.

"I am sick of my daughter being the butt of this kid's jokes, and you guys doing nothing about it!"

"Dr. Robbins–"

"He called my daughter a spick! That doesn't seem like a problem to you?"

"I can assure you–"

"You say this every time, and yet nothing happens to this kid!" Arizona snapped. "I'm not sure if it's because of me, or just that this school tolerates this discrimination, but I understand the cruelty of children. I understand bullying. And I will not tolerate my child being treated this way."

* * *

><p>When they got home an hour later. Arizona helped her daughter pick up the house after they took care of Cherokee. She didn't know how to tell Sofia about her Mamá and the fact that she was coming home, after months of no communication. The almost six-year-old had forgotten the events at school and was focused on the sleep over that she was going to have that night. Her song voice rang through the house, reminding Arizona so much of Callie that it hurt. "Sof?"<p>

"Yeah, Mom?" she came skipping into the kitchen.

Arizona smiled and handed her a fruit-by-the-foot. "We need to talk."

Sofia watched her mother snap her wrist to uncurl her own roll up. When she tried to imitate her, her snack went flying. Arizona instinctively reached out and caught it before Cherokee got a tasty afternoon treat. "About what?"

"I got a phone call today," Arizona started, handing the snack back.

"From who?" Sofia asked, curiously.

Arizona looked up. "Mamá."

The half-eaten fruit-by-the-foot fell out of Sofia's mouth. Cherokee gobbled it up and sat by Sofia's feet with a goofy grin on her face. "Mamá?"

"Yeah," Arizona smiled. "She's okay."

"Mamá," Sofia said again, as if she didn't quite understand what it meant. But little tears were brimming in her eyes. "Is she coming home?"

"Yeah," Arizona nodded. "Hopefully by the end of May."

Sofia thought for a moment. Then her eyes brightened. "She'll be home for my birthday!"

Arizona laughed. "Uh huh."

She jumped up and hugged Cherokee, dancing around the kitchen in excitement with the dog barking after her. "Mamá's coming home, Mamá's coming home!"


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: _This long journey is at a close. I hope you all forgive me for the length of time it took me to post this. I appreciate all the feedback and love, you guys are all amazing! This summer and semester has been stressful at best, so thank you for your patience._

_This chapter is dedicated to my Luxury girls, specifically Nemo, Fabi, Alexa, and Nikki. 3 love you guys_

* * *

><p>"What the hell, Callie!" Arizona snapped. Her voice was escalating and she didn't care. "You said you would be home!" It had been four weeks and Callie had been assuring them for as long that she would be home. Today was the day of her supposed return home.<p>

"Arizona, I can't help what my orders are or when I get them."

"And what are we supposed to do?" Mark walked through the front door at this. Arizona was stalking through the living room. He looked up and saw Sofia sitting on the stairs, silent and crying. Arizona saw Mark and walked towards him.

"Who?" he mouthed. He was concerned.

"Callie," she mouthed back. Her brow furrowed. "Calliope, what am I supposed to tell your daughter? Your daughter who is over the moon that you're going to be home from her birthday. Your daughter, who has been dancing around crazy happy that you're going to be here."

Arizona's back was to Sofia, she didn't know the little girl was on the steps. Mark's eyes flew back and forth between them.

"Am I just supposed to be like "oh, sorry, Mamá's not coming anymore? It'll break her heart!" Arizona snapped. Mark's eyes flew to the stairs as pounding feet met Arizona's ears. She spun, catching Sofia's retreating form before flinching as a door slammed. "Great. Callie – no. Shut up! Let us know when you land, if you ever do."

Mark stared at Arizona, stunned. He knew how protective of Sofia she was, but this was Callie. It had been years since he'd heard Arizona talk to Callie like that. And he knew she would regret it after she calmed down and took care of Sofia. He pried the phone from her hand before she could hang up. Pushing her in the direction of Sofia, he practically yelled into the phone, "Callie. Callie, don't hang up. Callie. I know, I know. She does. She's worried about Sofia."

"Because I'm not? Because I don't hate this?" Callie snapped.

"Callie! I know. What happened?" Mark watched Arizona run up the stairs after their daughter.

"I don't know. I got my evaluation today. I have to stay at least another month. It's complete crap. I'm fine, but the doctors here don't agree and you don't just argue with the military and up and leave. It doesn't happen. I want nothing more than to be there with them. I want to kiss my wife. I want to hug my kid. Does she not know that?"

"She's scared, Cal. She almost lost you twice."

Callie was silent. Mark could hear the anger simmering over her end.

"She almost lost Sofia once. Her family keeps narrowly avoiding death while she sits in the gallery. She hasn't been able to do anything to save anyone. And the anxiety of it has been driving her mad. She's been thinking for a month that it was all over, that maybe her family was finally safe and she wouldn't have to worry anymore. And now she's being strung out again. She's like an addict who is going through withdrawal. Over and over again. And she's about to snap," Mark said softly.

"I'm scared, too."

"I know, Cal. But she's going to snap and she can't because of Sofia. Sofia has been getting picked on by kids at school about her ethnicity and Arizona doesn't really know how to handle it. She's needed you for months and she hasn't had you. So she's had an upset Sofia, who she's really thinking about putting in a private school next year. She's had it rough at work; Karev has been on her ass. She needs you, Cal. I'm not a substitute for you."

"I'm trying, Mark. I can't tell her the truth. I'll be home as soon as I can but they won't release me until I fully recover. I thought I'd be there by now," Callie paused. Mark was still watching the stairs, waiting for Arizona to come back down. "Mark?"

"Yeah," he said.

"Can you help me when I come home?"

* * *

><p>"Sof?" Arizona knocked on the door softly. She heard the heartbreaking sniffles and pushed the door open. Sofia was holding Cherokee's neck, her face buried in the dog's scruff. Her anger subsided and Arizona took a few steps into the room, shutting the door behind her. Cherokee looked at her, but didn't move, standing solid for Sofia. Arizona couldn't have dreamed up a better dog. "Sof?"<p>

"Yeah?" the little girl's voice was muffled in the dog's fur.

"You heard me and Mamá on the phone, huh?"

She saw a bob of her head.

"Can we talk about it?" Arizona sat on the other side of Cherokee and ran her hand down the dog's back.

"Mamá isn't coming back is she?" Tears began anew and Sofia buried her head back into Cherokee's neck.

Arizona sighed. "She is, baby. Just not today. Not right now."

"You were yelling," Sofia said.

Arizona bit her lip. She hated fighting with Callie in general, especially not in front of her daughter. "I was frustrated." It was time for an admonition. "I'm scared."

Sofia's head shot up. "Why Mommy?"

Cherokee moved away and Sofia came over and sat in Arizona's lap. "Well, do you remember the stories we told you about when you were a baby?"

"Mamá and I got in an accident," Sofia nodded. She played with Arizona's fingers, spinning the silver wedding band around her finger.

"That's right. And I almost lost both of you. You almost died as a baby. Mamá almost died because she got really hurt," Arizona took a breath. "And I couldn't do anything about it. I had to sit there and watch my two beautiful girls struggle to stay alive. And now Mamá is far away, and I can't help her. I just want to make sure Mamá is safe and that you are safe."

"But you yelled at her?" Sofia looked up.

"I was just scared that I was going to lose her, baby. That I am going to lose her," Arizona felt the tears welling in her eyes as she stared down at her daughter. "Just like I don't want anything to happen to you, I don't want anything to happen to your Mamá."

Sofia leaned into Arizona's chest and they rocked back and forth together. "Did she cry?"

"What?"

"When you yelled at her? It made me cry." Sofia said her words softly, carefully.

Arizona kissed the top of Sofia's head. "Yeah, I think she did. She was yelling too."

"Oh. Is Daddy talking to her?"

Arizona stopped and looked up at the dog, as if Cherokee knew the answer. "I'm not sure. Do you want to go find out?"

Sofia wiped an arm across her eyes. "Yes."

* * *

><p>The hospital was surprisingly quiet and for that much she was grateful. Arizona had managed yet another wild birthday party on her own. Sofia was six, and Arizona was exhausted. No one told her that kids involved raucous birthday parties. She'd always been so mellow as a child, whereas Sofia had that Latina fire that made her want to go to the loudest place a six year old could want to go, Chucky Cheese. Between the place itself and the twenty kids Sofia had invited along, Arizona figured her headache would last well into Sofia's next birthday. Karev walked up to her cautiously and held out a cup of coffee. "Truce?"<p>

She looked at him tiredly, they had been fighting every day for the past month and a half it felt like. "Truce," she took the coffee gratefully. "I'm sorry I've been a bitch lately."

"I haven't made it any easier on you," he admitted. "I'm sorry about Torres."

"Thanks," she sighed. Just the aroma was perking her up a bit. "I just really wish we knew when she was coming back."

"Yeah, I can understand that. Yang is about to drive us crazy," he chuckled. "But I have a question, about this case. This kid, something just isn't adding up."

Arizona smiled before looking at the file. She and Karev usually worked so well together, and this was a nice change of pace from the hostility that had been permeating her peds unit lately. It also helped get her mind off of her headache. She had loved every minute of Sofia's birthday, but that kid could get loud and bossy. And the water works before the party had started hadn't helped Arizona's mood either. Mark had been called into emergency surgery and she had been forced to take all twenty one kids by herself. Luckily, Lexie had showed up an hour into it and taken some of the brunt off of Arizona's shoulders. But she was still exhausted.

"Karev!" Mark called. Arizona groaned and hoped that he wouldn't start another fight.

"Sloan."

"I need to borrow Dr. Robbins."

"Mark, I'm working. What's up?" Arizona asked. She let the exhaustion seep into her tone so that he knew not to mess with her right now.

"Dr. Karev. I need you to take Dr. Robbins' cases for the next," he looked at his watch, "for the rest of the day."

"Mark," Arizona protested.

He winked. "Dr. Robbins' has had a terrible week. And yesterday she catered to twenty-one screaming six year olds, by herself."

"Mark," Arizona warned.

"Go with him, Robbins," Alex said. "You need a break."

Arizona growled at both of them before stalking down the hall to her office to change out of her scrubs. Mark called after her that he would meet her in the lobby in ten minutes and she better be there or she'd be in big trouble. It was like he was talking to Sofia or something. She tugged her top over her head and pulled the cream top she'd worn in that morning on. Jeans replaced her dark blue scrub pants. She pulled on the college sweatshirt she'd left in there for cases like this and headed down to meet Mark in the lobby. Having no idea where he was taking her, she didn't really care how she was dressed.

He was in jeans and one of those pull-overs he always wore. She had to smile to herself, never in a million years had she thought that she would be able to tell you the type of clothing that Mark Sloan wore. But six years with a daughter together and a year of relying on hum while Callie was away, and she could probably buy him an entire wardrobe better than Lexie could. She wasn't shy or nervous anymore around him, another thing she was grateful for. Trying hard to smile, she walked up to where he was saying goodbye to his girlfriend and took his outstretched arm after he kissed Lexie goodbye. "Ready to go?"

"I have no idea where we are going, but sure," Arizona said, walking beside him. He'd learned to shorten his stride so that her shorter legs could keep up with his longer ones. Walking together to and from work had been a normal occurrence for them, but since Arizona had moved they hadn't really had a chance to talk about anything and she felt like she'd been estranged from her husband.

"You'll like it. It's this little deli I found the other day when I was out with Sofia. Tucked away, nice and quiet," he smiled down at her.

She'd gotten used to his Cheshire cat grin but she still wasn't completely comfortable with it. "You're up to something."

"I'm offended, Robbins," he acted as though she had shot through his pride. They climbed into his sporty Audi and he pulled out of the parking lot smoothly. "Your daughter is excited that school is over."

"_Your_ daughter," Arizona shot back, "is slowly realizing that summer means three months in hospital day care."

"Aww, she loves it there. That kid loves being in the hospital," Mark said. "She's like Meredith when she was little."

"Oh God, please don't say that," Arizona said. "I do not want my child turning out to be like Meredith Grey."

"Mer isn't a bad person," Mark said, eyes on the road as they came to a stop at a light. "She's just…different. I don't know how to explain her."

"I'm well aware, and I don't want Sofia turning out like that. I want our daughter to be stable, not dark and twisty."

"Arizona, I don't think Sof could be dark and twisty with you as her mother," Mark said.

Arizona smiled softly and turned to look out the window. She remembered before Sofia was born, the argument that she and Mark had gotten into when he'd told her that she was nothing. The many fights that Callie had been forced to step into because of the way Mark treated her and her role as Sofia's mother. It had been hell for her then. No one saw how much she loved Sofia, they just threw her past words back into her face without realizing that people change. "There was a time when you didn't think I should be her mother at all."

"And now look where we are," Mark said. He didn't like to dwell on the terrible things that he had said to Arizona in the past. They drove in silence for the rest of the trip, only a few more minutes, until Mark pulled into an open parking lot just off of the street. It looked safe enough here. Parts of the city still scared Arizona, she would readily admit. There were times when she didn't feel safe with Sofia, unless Callie or Mark was there with her. But that could also just be her fear of anything happening to her daughter.

She got out and shut the door, waiting for directions from Mark as to which way they were going to be traveling. He nodded to their right and they quickly crossed the parking lot and street in the brisk air. It was mid-June, but for some reason the temperature had dropped low today and everyone who was out walking around had on a jacket or sweatshirt. Mark pulled out his phone and Arizona walked him send off a quick text. When he looked up he shrugged, "Avery. Boy has more questions than I know what to do with."

"Sounds like Karev," she laughed. "Sometimes I forget that they aren't residents anymore."

They laughed and she let her eyes wander over the brick buildings briefly before noting the turn up ahead. Someone walked out from around the corner and she glanced over them, noting the military fatigues and a pang of guilt and loneliness shot through her heart. She hadn't talked to Callie since that day they fought. She'd told Callie to shut up; she couldn't believe she had talked to her that way. Arizona hadn't noticed Mark stop a few steps back. The soldier had stopped before her, and Arizona took a harder look. It was a woman and Arizona felt her breath catch briefly before she realized that she was too skinny. She tried to shake away visions of Callie but the soldier turned to look at her, pulling off her fatigue hat to reveal cropped black hair that had grown out since the last time she'd seen it. The smile that had previously been on her face faded as she stared in awe.

Mark came up behind her, "I told you, you wanted this." He put a hand at the small of her back and pushed her forward.

Callie looked nervous and Arizona couldn't blame her. She walked forwards, not believing the fact that Callie was standing directly in front of her. This was nothing like when she had come home for Christmas. This was different. Entirely, and Arizona wanted nothing more than to wrap Callie up in her arms and say I'm sorry over and over again.

But Callie spoke first, "I landed."

Laughing in spite of herself, Arizona pulled Callie into her arms. Callie hugged her wife. Arizona closed her eyes and deeply breathed in the smell that was purely Callie, the smell that had been haunting her ever since they moved into the new house. She pressed her lips to Callie's neck and then pulled back far enough to capture Callie's lips. Callie kissed her back, fiercely. "What happened to you?"

"I told you we got caught," Callie said, but she looked away. "Arizona, I couldn't come back because I was too weak. They wouldn't let me out of the hospital. We were stuck in the desert for days after an ambush. I'm sorry."

Guilt and shame lit up Arizona's nerves and she pulled Callie back into her. "You just didn't want me to worry. You knew I would freak out. Don't be sorry, I'm the one who is sorry."

They were both crying. Arizona reached up to wipe Callie's tears away as Callie went to do the same for her. Instead, they clasped their hands together and smiled through the tears.

"I've regretted the way I talked to you every day since it happened. I'm so sorry, Callie. I was so scared I was going to lose you."

"Not even gunfire and the desert could make you lose me, Arizona," Callie whispered into her ear. "I love you far too much to make you go through that pain."

"I can't believe you're home. It's been like you're haunting me, all this time. Like if I turned around you would be there. I got so used to you not being there, Calliope. But it's never felt like home," Arizona cried into Callie's shoulder. "I'm not home if I'm not with you. I've been so lost without you."

Callie held Arizona close as she sobbed. "I'm here now. You're home now."


End file.
